Sunday, 7 January 2018

"Switch"? ~ What it Means Pertaining to Me

I am not "a Domme" or "a sub", and definitely not a slave.
I am a free woman with a generally dominant personality, who lives by Gorean principles and philosophies in real life, and also engages in BDSM activities.

I tend to be "toppy" toward those on the more submissive end of the continuum, though I do usually at least defer to free men, and will conditionally submit to those I deem worthy of such.
I've been meaning to write this for quite a while now, for various reasons.
Apparently, the "switch" moniker is very confusing to some people, so I will go into detail here about what it does - and doesn't - mean, in my case.
We'll start with the "doesn'ts", since those seem to be the most oft misunderstood.

"Switch" does NOT mean: 

  • I go back and forth from free to slave.

It's a BDSM activity preference - not an indication of status. I am free. Period. Submitting on occasion or to certain people does not make me "a sub". It just means I have submissive traits along with the dominant ones.
  • I will do/be/play whatever role you are seeking
I'm not a freaking fetish dispenser!
  • my role within any specific D/s dynamic is flexible
It isn't. The boss is the boss, and stays the boss. The sub/slave obeys.

"Switch DOES mean (for me)

  • I enjoy both "topping" and "bottoming" in BDSM activities/scenes, regardless of D/s involvement (or lack thereof) at various times and with different people.
  • I respond in different ways to different people or types of people - Some people trip the dominant trigger, some trip the submission trigger, and some people do neither. That's just the way I'm wired. Telling me what I "should" do, or trying to demand, cajole, whine, bitch, or otherwise manipulate me into relating to you in your desired manner will backfire. Badly!

For a more in-depth look at the topic...

The word, "switch", for me, is only a label for convenience. It doesn't encapsulate who or what I AM.
I am a strong woman with a dominant personality and submissive tendencies.
I believe in the natural order of things, and that D/s is not a clear cut, either/or sort of thing. Rather, dominance and submission are character traits on a continuum, which vary from person to person, with every person falling somewhere on the scale, creating somewhat of a hierarchy. It was recently compared by someone in a discussion to that of a wolf pack. I tend to agree with that allegory, as well as a comparison to serving in the Armed Forces. That means that a single person may be submissive or subordinate to some, whilst outranking or being dominant to others, at the same time. It's not two, separate "roles". It is simply that there are more than two "ranks" in life, and in nature.
I will not separate out my dominant and submissive traits into separate "personas". They are not. I am me. I am a whole, integrated, complete person, with many different facets. I choose to embrace that.
Neither will I "dumb down", pretend to be less than, submit, or pretend to submit to anyone, simply by virtue of their gender, status, or because they claim a certain title or position. I will start out being respectful to others, and will defer, to a degree, to free men as long as they don't give me reason to do otherwise. From there, they will either earn my respect, and the added deference that may accompany it, or they will earn... something less, and I will do my best to at least remain civil, so long as they can avoid pushing me too far.
Do not mistake a respectful demeanor, good manners, polite deference, or knowing my place in the natural order of things for outright submission. There is a distinct difference, and making assumptions is an unwise idea.
I do not submit to women. No, it's not "fair". Neither is it (as has been accused on multiple occasions), "discrimination", any more than having a specific sexual orientation is "discrimination". It simply is how I am wired.
My submissive tendencies are most often likely to be triggered by strong, dominant men, and I will, in general, tend to be more deferential to such men. It takes a man who is more dominant than I - along with being someone who I trust implicitly, like, and possibly love - to earn my submission.




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