Tuesday 29 April 2014

My Limits

  Topping/Domming:

  • Minors, animals, drunk/high people, dead people, or anyone else legally unable to give informed consent.
  • Non-consensually involving others. (This includes breaching the confidentiality of others)
  • Intentional actual injuries. ie: broken bones, sprains, head trauma, cuts requiring stitches (unless stitches are part of the scene), or anything else that should be seen in hospital.
  • Exchange of bodily fluids w/out negotiation, health status information, and clear, prior consent.
  • Scat, piss, vomit, or any other bodily waste play.
  • Age play (including “teacher/mommy/daddy/aunt/incest/etc” type dynamics).
  • DO NOT address me as "Miss". Honorifics preferred are Mistress, Ma'am, or M'Lady (in that order).
  • Drama
  • "Topping from the bottom"!

Bottoming/Subbing:

As a free woman, I reserve the right to dictate my own limits when I choose to submit or bottom to someone. If you think this means that I am "in charge", then you may wish to move along.
  • Minors, animals, drunk/high people, dead people, or anyone else legally unable to give informed consent.
  • Non-consensually involving others. (This includes breaching the confidentiality of others)
  • Cutting, bleaching, permanently colouring, perming or otherwise altering my hair in any way that would damage it and/or hinder its staying long and healthy.
  • Anything that will scar or otherwise mark (long term) or disfigure my face.
  • Anything that will harm/alter existing or planned body mods.
  • Intentional actual injuries. ie: broken bones, sprains, head trauma, cuts requiring stitches, or anything else that should be seen in hospital.
  • Tattoos, piercings, decorative cuttings, brandings etc without prior negotiation and consent.
  • Exchange of bodily fluids w/out negotiation, health status information, and clear, prior consent.
  • Scat, piss, vomit, or any other bodily waste play.
  • Age play (including “teacher/mommy/daddy/aunt/incest/etc” type dynamics).  
  • Body shaming or appearance based humiliation.
  • Belts used on me. This includes actually using them on me or even threatening to in any form, even subtly or in jest.
  • Switches (the kind cut from a tree/bush/etc - feel free to use a person who is a switch on me, consent permitting!) used on me, physically or as a threat.
  • Pouring, dripping, splashing, or otherwise putting water (or other liquids) on me. This doesn't apply to in the shower/hot tub/pool, damp towels, ice, or ejaculate. If you're not sure, ask in advance for clarification
  • I will not consume alcohol or drugs not prescribed to me and/or taken as prescribed/intended for any reason. This is non negotiable.
  • I will not share my passwords. This goes for for email, social networking, journal sites, business, financial, or any other secure sites. This is not a level of privacy I will surrender, and it is almost universally a TOS violation.
  • Micromanagement as a regular thing. Ie: accounting for every minute of the day, remaining in constant, 24/7 contact, checking in on every little thing, etc. Sometimes, for a specified period of time (hours, maybe days, not weeks+) is fine, but all or most of the time is a no-go.
  •  Dietary restrictions, such as: Putting me on any kind of diet, forbidding certain foods/types of foods, requiring me to eat or drink specific things I dislike, or in any way using food or lack thereof as a reward or a punishment. The only exceptions to this are enforcing any dietary restrictions or changes specifically ordered by my doctor/health care team, such as making sure I am generally eating a healthy diet consisting of at least two meals per day (with an eventual goal of three meals per day) and keeping my overall blood sugar average at a healthy level. *Using food as reward or punishment creates an unhealthy relationship with food/eating and can lead to or exacerbate eating disorders.
  • Isolation, such as forbidding contact with other people, groups, or types of people (like, "no talking to other doms/men/women/etc") without good cause. For a specified time period/scene/as a punishment is fine, as is for a valid reason, such as my own well being (Your insecurity/jealousy is not a valid reason!). Having it as a general rule is a deal-breaker.
  • Similar to the previous, interfering with, forbidding, or attempting to sabotage pre-existing relationships, passions (ie:don't try to make me change my musical tastes or listening, quit/restrict coffee or cigars, stop making art, etc), or responsibilities, including, but not limited to: work (volunteer or otherwise), school, recovery, spiritual practices, medical appointments, family (including pets!) and social obligations.  (More on these last two)


Additionally, I have some physical limitations which are not negotiable, even within a CNC dynamic. These are not limits which I impose, but rather, things which I am actually physically unable to do, or which will cause or worsen lasting damage, for various health/disability reasons.
There are work-arounds for pretty much all of these, mostly involving using the right furniture, supporting bonds/slings/etc, and adjusted positions, and none of these issues have prevented me from being able to engage in just about any type of play for nearly any length of time, with proper planning.
  • I am unable to stand unassisted for more than five or so minutes, maximum - less on bad pain days.
Again, it's not just about not wanting to withstand the pain.. At a certain point, the nerve endings start clanging, legs stop working, and I will fall, which is unacceptable, as it is likely to cause additional, severe (potentially life threatening) injury.
If supported by a rack or something and able to lean, shift position slightly, use my arms to hang on to something and take some of my weight, etc, I am often able to stay upright for longer.

  • I can only maintain a kneel without adjusting position into other suitable "at rest" positions for very short times, and sometimes am unable to kneel at all.
Ten minutes is really pushing it. Three to five minutes is more realistic for maintaining a strict kneeling position.
Using a kneeling bench or stool greatly increases my ability to maintain position for longer periods of time.

  • I cannot take significant impact on/over my right sacral joint.
I may be able to take more or less than you consider "significant" - The best thing to do is experiment and solicit my feedback.
  • My right arm cannot be bound or held in a way which puts significant stress on the right shoulder for any more than a couple minutes.
  • My right knee and right hip cannot be stressed for more than a few minutes at a time. (hyperextended, overly stretched, etc)

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