One {With My Mug} (Metallica Parody)

 I can't remember anything
Until I've had my caffeine
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This withdrawal headache drops me

Now that the night is through with me
I'm waking up, I cannot see
Why no coffee's left for me
Nothing is real but pain now

Morning breath and I smell like death
Oh java, wake me
Back to my room my nerves to steel
In pumps life that I must feel
But can't look forward to a meal
Wait for the time when I live

I need a tube that sticks in me
Just want a nice caffeine IV
Synced to alarm clock so hands free
How divine would that be
Catch my breath as I wish for leth
Oh fresh brew wake me

Now the wait is gone, the coffee's done
Oh quad shot, help me
Take a breath, oh this roast has depth
Rich nectar, wake me

Darkness in a mug for me
All that I see
Absolute hoarder
I cannot give
I will not share
All for myself
Jitter juice making me well

Cuppa has given me sight
Given me speech
Sharpened my hearing
Strengthened my arms
Given me legs
Awakened my soul
Before I was just a shell

© 2025 Khaos WolfKat

Nothing Else Matters (Metallica Parody)

So close, it isn't that far
Gotta get my morning kick start
Just get me to the coffee bar
And nothing else matters

Whoever opened this mud cafe
Thank the gods, they just made my day
All these words, I don't just say
Cause nothing else matters

Do not speak til I drink my brew
Every cup makes my brain renew
Open mouth for high octane juice
And nothing else matters

Never cared for weaker brew
Never cared for decaf joe
But I know

Large dose, in my java jar
The caffeine pumps much more through my heart
Forever just like eye crowbars
And nothing else matters
Never share my wakey juice
I'm impaired til coffee flows
But I know

Finally opened my eyes this way
Cuppa sparks, can live out my day
Without caffeine, I'm just cray cray
And nothing else matters

Robust I seek and I grind to brew
Every day for us something new
Darker roast for a different hue
And nothing else matters

Never cared what time of day
If the skies are blue or grey
Never cared just how it's brewed
If it's hot or served ice cold
And I know, yeah, yeah

Morose, if cup is too far
From the beverage service cart
Forever scrawled in my memoir
No, nothing else matters

© Khaos WolfKat 2023