Sunday 11 January 2015

What do I mean by, "Sensual"?

Sensual, in my vernacular anyway, should not be confused with sexual.
When I say I want sensual touch, sensual massage, or sensual play, I am not asking you to start groping my nipples or making a beeline for my pussy.
When I agree to include sensual touch when I top or massage you, that doesn't mean I'm going to give you a handjob or finger you.
sen·su·al [sen-shoo-uhl] adjective
pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly.
arousing or exciting the senses or appetites.
of or pertaining to the senses or physical sensation; sensory.
When I say sensual, I mean running hands through hair, caresses, running differently textured materials across flesh (silk, fur, leather, textured gloves, a brush, feathers, etc), playing with different temperatures, maybe touching some sensuous food to one's lips, like chocolate or strawberries. I mean things that awaken, arouse, excite, titillate, and gratify the senses. All of them!
I mean touching the back, arms, legs, belly, neck, and so on.

Will it feel good?
I sure hope so!

Will it be sexy?

Will you/I get off?
Maybe, but that isn't the point or goal.

Sure, sensual can often lead to or be a part of sexual, but it is not a given, and should never be assumed without prior negotiation!

And even if sex and/or sexual touch is in the cards, the skin is the body's largest organ, and the entire surface of it contains erogenous zones! Too often, the majority of that skin is neglected, as people go straight for the "goal". This means that we miss out on worlds of sensation and pleasure. For me, sexual and sensual encounters both are a journey, meant to be fully enjoyed, rather than some goal based activity where orgasm and/or ejaculation are the main event and be all, end all.

Alan Watts said:
"When we make music we don't do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point."
I look at sensuality and sex the same way.