Wednesday, 23 October 2019

Norwescon 43 Friday Afternoon High Protocol (Mad) Tea Social Menu

This is the menu for the event. Actual event details can be found here.
Several of the teas served are blends by the Friday Afternoon tea company. Be sure to stop by their booth in the Dealer Room to sample lots more of their delicious teas, and take some home with you!

Arrival drinks ~
  •   Tea ~ Very Good Advice

    Friday created this playfully fragrant herbal blend in honour of Alice. This brew brings you to the English garden of a young girl dreaming of adventure, and is perfect for preparing for the adventure to follow!
    (Ingredients: Lemon verbena, linden flower, lavender, lemongrass)
  • Coffee ~ Organic, fair trade, shade grown, dark roast. 
  • Ice water
  • (More to come ~ Stay tuned!)

First course ~ Savouries 
  • Queen of Hearts Blend ~ Ceylon black tea, rosebud, rose hip and black peppercorns make this an unusual flowery and spicy blend.
Sumptuous Savouries
  • Queen of (Artichoke) Hearts' stuffed mushrooms ~ We don't know which side will make you tall or small, but all sides will make your mouth water! (crimini mushrooms, artichoke hearts, spinach, [additional ingredients to be added], parmesan cheese, butter)
  • White Rabbit's garlic blue cheese stuffed mushrooms - There's time to say goodbye hello to these flavourful fungi! (crimini mushrooms, blue cheese, smoked garlic, [additional ingredients to be added])
  • Open face curried chicken cucumber sandwiches  (GF, DF) ~ An exotic take on the classic, cucumber sandwich: Fresh cucumber slices, topped with curried cranberry chicken salad (curried chicken breast, cranberries, walnuts, organic leeks, and mayonnaise)
  •  Open face curried hummus cucumber sandwiches  (GF, DF, Vegan) ~ The vegan version of the above: Fresh cucumber slices, topped with curried cranberry hummus (curry hummus, walnuts, cranberries and organic leeks)
 Garden & Grain Tray
  • Baby carrots
  • Grapes
  • Tomato medley
  • Pita chips
  • Cracker assortment (GF options)
  • Ranch dip
  • Spinach artichoke dip
  • Hummus (GF, DF, Vegan)

Second Course ~ Scones & Breads

  • Wonderland Blend
    It's a mad tea party indeed, with this delightful infusion! Caffeine-free for all ages. Brews up a magical purple and is fabulous hot or iced!
       (Ingredients: Apple, blueberry, and hibiscus.)
  • Dorian Gray ~ Inspired by Friday's favourite Oscar Wilde novel, this blend is as dark, murky and exotic as the character after whom it is named. This one has been a big hit at every NWC Friday Afternoon Tea, thus far, and tastes a lot like drinking a cinnamon roll (in a good way)!
    (Ingredients: Pu-er black tea, gunpowder green tea, ginger root, blue cornflower)
 Toothsome Treats
  • Mad Hatter's Honey Whole Wheat Black Bread
  • Scones in a variety of flavours (GF options)
  • Silver Dollar Crumpets
  • All served with fresh, sweet cream butter, clotted cream, lemon curd, and apricot preserves

Third Course ~ Dessert

  • Satyr's Blend ~ This ridiculous blend is a bizarre combination of several herbal components, spices, and (whaaaaaat!) dark chocolate chunks! The scent of the dry leaf is wild, foresty and slightly spicy. When brewed, this tisane creates a fascinatingly smooth flavour profile.
    Ingredients: Rooibos, peppermint, chocolate, mate, rose, ginger, lime, peppercorn, clove
  • Cheshire Smile ~ Playful and delicious, this lemon meringue white tea blend will drive you mad with its heavenly aroma and mysterious colour-changing properties. Is it blue? Purple? Pink? Yes.
    (Ingredients: White tea, grapefruit peel, butterfly peaflower, hibiscus, natural vanilla and lemon flavouring)
 Delightful Desserts
  • Madly-made-to-order pancake cupcake teacakes, back by popular demand! ~ custom additions include: dark and/or milk chocolate chunks, dark chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, dark chocolate & mint M&M's, peanut butter cup chunks, walnuts, jams, and more TBA.
  • Dark chocolate covered pomegranate, açai blueberry, & almond bites (GF)
  • Lemon tea cookies

~ Dairy free creamer and sugar substitutes will be on hand. 

~ Gourmet coffee and ice water will be available in addition to or instead of teas.  

~ Please feel free to bring additional food and/or non-alcoholic drinks for yourself or to share, especially if you have special dietary needs/allergies.

~ Please do bear in mind that the snacks, whilst suitable for a light repast, are not meant to be a full meal, so it may be prudent to plan for a light meal shortly following or prior to the Tea.

Saturday, 14 September 2019

Review ~ SOSA Belicoso (6/10)

 So, it turns out the few of these sticks I have left from the bundle I bought ages ago are now a bit of a rarity. 

Originally, they were made by the Fuente family in the Dominican Republic, but in December of 2016, A.J. Fernanzez announced that he would be buying the entire Sosa family line, and would be producing them, using the same blends and wrappers, but he would be growing the tobacco himself, and using his own, distinct manufacture and curing methods, as of January 2017, so I imagine the ones put out after that would have been a similar, but not the same cigar.

I got these around 2015, so they would have been the ones made at the A. Fuente Factory, apparently by Juan Sosa, himself! (Pretty cool factoid there, IMO)

They have since been completely discontinued. I'm not clear on just when that happened, but they are not available anywhere that I can find. Just as well they aren't a new favourite or I'd be hosed! ;)

Anyhow, on the the review part!

The construction was good and solid. It felt firm, with just the right give, and it looked nice - chocolate milk brown, and a smooth sheen to the wrapper. 
The scent was fairly straightforward tobacco, with a bit of coffee and spicy chocolate. 
It lit up nicely, using the light and cut method. 

Despite the light and cut, the cigar started out pretty harsh, (the first time that has happened since I learned that technique!) and I was wondering if it would end up in the ashtray in short order, but at about an inch or so in, the harsh beginning gave way to some actual flavour, albeit difficult to define. It was almost acrid, like a very, very dry white wine, but not in an unpleasant way. 

I have to admit, I was a little confused by the seeming disparity between the unlit smell and the taste of the smoke, but it isn't the first time I've encountered this. I may have even noticed it when I smoked the rest of them, several years ago, and then forgotten, or, perhaps, the time in the humidor has changed their profile more significantly than it does most.

The flavour continued to improve, as well as mellow, and by almost 1/3rd of the way down, I started detecting notes of cedar, and something almost, but not quite like leather, along with a tobacco... "crispness", is the best way to describe it. Definitely not bad at all.

It was about that time that the uneven burn became clear as well, but I'm willing to speculate that the breeze and not keeping it rotating could be at least partially to blame. It was simply a matter of having to periodically torch one side a bit.

The emergence of black pepper on the tip of my tongue, joined (finally!) by a nice black coffee/espresso flavour, and followed closely by hints of unsweetened cocoa was a nice turn of events.

At about the halfway point, I was confronted by a nasty "burnt cigar butt" taste, and was afraid the cigar was done, just when it had started to get pretty good. Luckily, just blowing it out well and letting it burn for a couple seconds banished the burn, and it was back to the slightly spicy, rich, dark, chocolate espresso profile for the duration which turned out to be right down the last inch and a half or so!

Most of the cigars I smoke with cocoa and/or coffee notes also tend to have creamy or sweet notes as well, and, curiously, this one didn't. At all. Like, there wasn't so much as a hint of either. Different from the usual, but not at all a criticism.

They are meant to be medium to full bodied, but I found it pretty mild after the initial few, dubious puffs. 

The ash held firm to a little past an inch and a half on average, and was a dusky, blue-grey.  The volume of smoke wasn't terribly impressive, but, while those thick billows of velvet clouds are usually a plus for me, as there is more to play with and taste and get a good mouth feel, it's not the end of the world. 

All in all, it was a decent smoke, and I do look forward to enjoying the rest of them over time. It gets a solid 6/10, which is pretty good from me, for something I didn't flat out love.

Wednesday, 11 September 2019

Crazy Weather (Ode to Etta James and Climate Change ~ A Parody)

(Sung to the tune of Stormy Weather)

Don't know why
There's so much sun up in the sky
Muggy weather
Repubs just can't get their facts together
Hurricainin' all the time

Land is bare
Deforestation everywhere
Global Warming.
Climate change is messin with the weather.
Emissions of all kinds .. all kinds

Since El Nino days the ice caps all are melty
If it stays that way, carbon and methane's gonna get me
All I do is pray greenhouse gases won't effect me
If I use the sun for power.

I can't go on
All my biofuel is gone
Sunspot weather
Now my skin all looks like leather
Acid raining all the time
It's surely the end times

© 2019 Khaos WolfKat

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

Save those stale baked goods for the world's best bread pudding!

Fresh baked... well, anything is so wonderful! The problem is, it never stays fresh for long, and stale breads, cakes, cookies, etc just aren't the same. Don't throw them out though! 
You can give them a new life and look like a culinary deity at the same time, by turning them all into a divine dessert (or breakfast, or snack, or lunch, or... whatever. No judgement here) fit for the gods themselves that will have everyone begging for more. 

Best of all, the recipe is cheap, easy, and wildly versatile!

Here are just a few options for variations on the basic recipe.

  • Classic, "Worlds Best Bread Pudding"
  • French toast "casserole"
  • Breakfast in Bread
  • Full English Bake Up 
  • Toasted Cheese Breadwich
  • Savoury Garlic Parmesan
  • Holiday cranberry, pecan, candied orange bread pudding
  • Curry cauliflower "souffle" 
Look for all these variations to be added and linked up here eventually!

All you have to do is start putting those bread ends, leftover rolls, cookies, toast, English muffins, the last slice of cake, old doughnuts or bagels, the fortune cookies no one ever eats,  the "test" pancakes, bread that didn't rise properly, pastries, etc, into the freezer before they get mouldy. I use gallon size Ziploc bags. 

If you want to do savoury as well as sweet, put the sweets in separate freezer bags.

 The one "rule" is that you want to have at least about half of the things be more "bready" than sweet (bagels, rolls, bread, pizza crusts, etc) to get the right texture. If most of your leftovers are sweets and you don't bake your own bread, grab a loaf of cheap, day old artisan bread from the grocery to supplement. I really love having a good amount of sourdough in mine, but any bread will do, really. 

Once you've got a full bag or two, you're ready to whip up a batch of awesome. 

 Want to know what's even more awesome?
Not only is the flavour and add-ins variety practically endless, but there are several different cooking methods as well!

Besides the traditional, oven method, you can also make this delicious dish in your Instant pot/electric pressure cooker, regular (stovetop) pressure cooker, slow cooker, BBQ grill, campfire (cast iron Dutch oven needed), regular skillet on the stove, and even the microwave!!

Next week, I'll be posting the "base recipe" for sweet OR savoury, along with instructions for all the above cooking methods, so STAY TUNED!



Monday, 9 September 2019

A Money Saving, Waste Reducing, Better Tasting Bread Pudding!

This recipe is for your classic, standard bread pudding, but with a twist!

If you just want to go directly to the recipe, without the story behind it, scroll down a bunch or click here

Like many of my recipes, this was born of necessity (read, poverty), using what was on hand, on sale, or free to feed a hungry household on the dirt cheap. 

This one came about because of bagels. Lots of bagels. Many, many, MANY bagels. An amount of bagels that made the excess of stale loaves of bread seem paltry by comparison.

The food bank always had three things that you could have in unlimited quantities. Those were potatoes, onions, and older than day old bread. There was always more than they could offload back then, cause the economy wasn't completely jacked. (But let's avoid that side rant, for now. Today is recipe day, not political rant day!)

So, on this particular week, in addition to the regular, plentiful, varieties of breads and other stale-ish baked goods, they had approximately 8 gazillion loads of all the bagels in the world. Consequently, each client got one full measure of all the bagels in the world. 
You think I'm unnecessarily exaggerating, but I'm not. We walked away with two of those huge, black trash bags full of bagels, for a household of 6 people. Every variety you can find in the bakery was there, and then some. 

The freezer was stuffed with bagels. The deep freezer was stuffed with bagels.
 WE were stuffed with bagels!

We ate toasted bagels, bagels with cream cheese, breakfast bagels, mini bagel pizzas, peanut butter bagels, bagels and gravy, SOS over bagels, bagel sandwiches, bagel hamburgers, bagels for snacks, bagel breadcrumbs, bagel croutons, bagel dog, cat, and rat treats... You get the idea. 

We were running out of new things to do with them and, frankly, getting pretty tired of bagels, when one of my housemates mentioned it on a phone call to his (Mormon - traditional - home cooked everything) mother. She said, "Well, why dont you make up a bunch of bread pudding?" 

None of us actually knew what bread pudding was at the time.. Just that it didn't sound very appetizing, but she insisted it was delicious and made him write down the recipe. (This was before YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, and even before most households had internet at all. AOL was just starting to gain steam then, and dinosaurs still roamed the Earth). Once I looked at it, and figured out that "pudding" didn't mean what I thought it did, it sounded worth trying, so I did. And it was AMAZING! 

The bagels made the texture kind of chewy and more substantial than a typical bread pudding (which I found out much later), and the combo of cinnamon raisin, blueberry, oat, bran, sourdough, regular, and  other types of bagels made for an out of this world taste. We weren't tired of bagels anymore! We made it for the kids' school, for the neighbours, for a block party, brought it to picnics and potlucks, and ate far more bread pudding than we probably should have in any given time, but you can get away with that in your 20s! 

Later, I tried making "normal" bread pudding, rather than the poor people version, and discovered that I didn't like it nearly as much, so I started experimenting with different types of baked goods. that were old, but not mouldy. Breads, donuts, muffins, you name it!

Later still, when I started baking my own bread, and discovered that when it doesn't have preservatives in it, it goes bad WAY faster, and has to be stuffed in the freezer if not used in about 4 days. SO I ended up with lots of partial loaves of bread, leftover rolls, and the like, as well as a few failed loaves that didn't rise, but were still GREAT for adding different textures and flavours to the ever-evolving bread pudding. 

At some point, it occurred to me that I could try throwing those fortune cookies, and stale crackers, and random other cookies that didn't get eaten into a batch. Yup! Worked great! And, of course, you can customise the recipe with lots of add ins too, but that is some other posts. 

For this one, it's just the improved, classic version.

Now, if you like, you an totally just use regular, day old read, and it will still taste great, but in my opinion, the taste and texture is WAY better with a variety of bread stuffs!

Here is the recipe...

World's Best Bread Pudding


  •     1/lb of stale bread products (about 1/2 store-bought loaf amount) 
(Up to half can be sweets, like cookies, donuts, cake, brownies, etc)
  •     3 Tablespoons of butter (1 Tbsp + 2 Tbsp)
  •     4 Beaten Eggs
  •     2 Cups Milk or half & half (or soy/almond/rice/coconut/other milk)
  •     3/4 cup of white sugar
  •     1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  •     1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Optional Ingredients:
  •     dried, canned, or fresh fruit
  •     nuts
  •     cardamom
  •     other spices

  •     Preheat oven to 350 degrees, and use 1 Tablespoon of butter to coat the inside of your 8 in. square baking dish, cast iron fryer (deep) skillet or dutch oven.
You can also use individual ramekins or smaller dishes. If you do, reduce initial baking time by 10-15 minutes and check to See if done.
  • Break your bready things into around 1" or smaller pieces into the buttered baking dish along with your add ins. Make sure different ingredients are distributed fairly evenly.
  • Melt your remaining 2 tablespoons of butter, and drizzle over bread pieces. 
  • In a bowl, whisk your eggs well, then mix remaining ingredients, including sugars/syrups, extracts, and spices until mixed thoroughly.
  • Pour mixture over the bread and add-ins and stir it up a bit, making sure it's all well coated.
  • Bake for 45 minutes, or until the top of the bread pudding springs back after lightly touching it with a fork.

 I swear by cast iron for most baking, and use either my Dutch oven or fryer skillet for this recipe, depending on what size batch I'm making.  

Note: I am now using Amazon Affiliate links, so if you click any of the product links from here to buy things, it costs you the same, and I get a small commission!

Thursday, 5 September 2019

TEOTWAWKI!! (Not all that likely, but...)

There's a lot of talk about "The end of the world as we know it" - total, global collapse of commerce, infrastructure, society, law and order, etc. -  and being prepared for such an eventuality. 

Preppers prep for it. Scoffers scoff at it. Most people completely ignore the whole idea.

The reality is that total collapse is not really all that likely a scenario, and most of us do realise that. The thing is though, pretty much all the same preparations for the ultimate SHTF situation will also stand us in good stead for the more likely situations. Things from the mundane - normal winter storms, scheduled (or not) utility maintenance, fried squirrel/bird/racoon transformer blowout, or a vehicle hitting a utility pole - to more severe things like earthquakes, floods, severe storms (hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, etc).
 All of these routinely include downed trees, blocked or closed roads, and power or other utility outages, and often come with little to no warning. 

Preparedness makes most of these things a relatively minor inconvenience, rather than an emergency, and makes even the more major disasters more easily survivable, so you and yours are not only doing ok, but also, not further straining rescue efforts, and potentially in a position to help!

Even something as simple as having car trouble and being stranded on the side of the road somewhere for a while can end up being a dire emergency if you're not properly prepared. 

I have personally experienced several situations over the years, where being prepared made the difference between emergency and inconvenience, including: Being stranded in a vehicle in the middle of nowhere for one to several days (alone and with kids/dogs); stranded in a van with the back half hanging off a nasty drop overnight once (with 2 adults, 2 big dogs, and a pre-teen in the van!); house full of holiday guests totally snowed in with no road access for nine days, almost half of which with no power or running water; caught in gnarly bad storms out in the middle of a National Forest, with exit roads impassable; stuck for extra time in the forest due to nearby forest fires (or emergency personnel fighting them) blocking access roads except for evacuation areas; multiple power and other utility outages; being stuck with no vehicle and no way home (or anywhere) overnight or for days/hours, due to cancelled Greyhound buses/inclement weather or just missing the last local bus; and various other "interesting times". 

Every one of those experiences was reduced to, at worst, a royal pain in the arse, and everyone involved was able to get/stay warm (or cool, as needed), dry, fed, sheltered, safe, comfortable, and had a sanitary way to relieve themselves and clean up afterward. Most of the time, we were even entertained too! 
That outcome, in every instance, was a result of being prepared!

So... Even if you are a total scoffer, and don't think there is any chance, whatsoever of TEOTWAWKI, there are plenty of good reasons to prepare for it anyway!

Wednesday, 4 September 2019

Ode to HNGs ~ by Dr Sluice (AKA Me)

 Dedicated to all the internet creeps who inspired this!

Hello Mistress I U slave,
Beat me now make me behave.
U so pretty tie me up now!
Y U no like? You a fat cow!

Fapping, fapping, what a sleaze,
Tightie whities round your knees
I do not want to chat with you,
Or see your Cheeto dusted goo!

What you mean I not your type?
I want you now; What's your Skype?
Can't you see you make my dick hard?
Don't you make me play the race card!

You a lesbo? what you mean?
I fix with my magic peen.
What you need's a good hard fuckin'

No, that's got me near upchucking!

Then I be ur dominate
No, that's something that I'd hate
If you won't kneel and suck my dick,
It prove you
really not a chick.

Call me Master, I insist
Are you ready for my fist?

I do not want to be your pet
That really doesn't make me wet.

In the trunk with you my slut
Then my dog will lick your butt.

I do not want sex with your collie
that isn't what I meant by poly!

Come massage me in my room
Does the rubbing come with poon?
I'm only joking, can't you see?
But will you break the law for me?

Can't you read, you douchcanoe?
All my rules, they mean you too!
I'll not give you happy ending
Your wall of text, it is mind bending!

Open marriage, gee that's swell;
Mine is too, but don't you tell.
Let's be discreet, I think you're hot
I'm poly but my wife is not.

Cheating, I will not assist,
Or meet with you for a tryst!
Philandering is not my kink
I think you need to see a shrink.

Even though I mailed you first
Your reply my bubble burst.
So since you didn't want to play
I didn't want you anyway!

U R Beauty and my dear
I paste this to all girls here
Maybe if I send to many
I will stop not getting any.

Copypasta turns me off
And you clearly live in sloth.
Mummy's basement's not a dungeon.
Your lines leave me in high dudgeon.

© 2012 Khaos WolfKat

Sunday, 1 September 2019

She's Passing Wind (Parody)

She's Passing Wind 

(To the tune of, "She's Like the Wind")

She's passing wind
under my sheets
All through the night
Next to me

She does it past midnight
The stink it churns out of her bum
She's makin' more farts
But she doesn't know what she's done

Tried to cover my face
Her butt's too close to me
it's stinging my eyes
Flatulence blitzkrieg
Now I need a reprieve
Something to stop the nosebleed
she's passing wind

I look for air clearer
When I get up to pee
Smells like dung oh man
This isn't a dream
Maybe she soiled herself
This is off the chain!
She stinks like a cur
It's so insane!

Smells like ass in my face
This is too gross for me
I'm starting to cry
My nose is fatigued

Smells like stool gotta leave
(Smells like stool gotta leave)
she's passing wind
(Just so cruel I believe)

Just so cruel I believe
(she's passing wind)
It's not cool I believe
(It's not cool I believe)
she's passing wind
(Like a mule that's aggrieved)
Like a mule that's aggrieved
she's passing wind
(Her booty jewel... she's passing wind)
(she's passing wind)
(Like a ghoul... she's passing wind

© 2019 Khaos WolfKat

Saturday, 31 August 2019

Review ~ Ave Maria Divinia on my 2nd Alaska Cruise (7/10)

 I'm finally getting round to posting this review from my 2019 cruise reviews and stuff notes! You know what would be SUPER awesome?? A cigar cruise, departing from Seattle, that I could hope to afford! Or even a well planned cigar event or two on a cruise that I can take. I mean, there are always at least a couple other cigar smokers on the smoking deck at some point in the time it takes to enjoy a stick, but it's just not the same as an intentional gathering.
Not much beats relaxing with my dog after a great meal with a fine cigar, awesome coffee, and the wind in my hair in the middle of the sea! 

I didn't get the chance to smoke as many cigars as planned on my most recent cruise, but this was definitely a good stick for the 2 hours I had free to smoke on the day in question. 

Right out of the cellophane, I noticed great, solid construction, no defects on the cap, as some seem to have noted, and a delicious smell. 
The dry draw was also promising, tasting of well aged tobacco, with a mellow, earthy sweetness and just a hint of spice. 

It lit pretty well, especially considering that I was on an open deck and we were travelling at around 21 nautical miles per hour at the time. First puff delivered as promised - mellow, silky, slightly sweet, earthy, with more of a smell than taste of coffee grounds, and full of undefined, but full bodied flavour. From the beginning, the burn was nice and even, despite the wind factor, and produced a good, firm, grey white ash that wouldn't let go before the 1.5" mark, at least. The spice wasn't really evident at all until almost into the second third, which is also when some of the other, previously undefined flavours began to take shape. Alongside the mild, black pepper, a roasty, toasty (not to be confused with toast), mildly sweet, almost creamy taste began coating the roof of my mouth, and shortly after, hints of strong coffee and dark chocolate than came and went until the last third. 
Overall, the flavour is far more mild than I had been anticipating, and would have preferred it to pack more of a punch, but I do tend to favour sticks on the very strong end of the spectrum, so others may disagree with me there. 
Either way, the mild profile did not negate its great taste, mouthfeel, draw, or burn. 
All in all, a nice smoke for an afternoon, a probably a good intro to "fuller bodied" cigars too, for those who want to venture out a bit and put a toe in stronger waters. 
I'm giving it a solid 7/10.

Saturday, 24 August 2019

Review ~ Nub 460 Connecticut (7/10)

This isn't really the sort of cigar I generally buy, as it just doesn't fit my preferred flavour, strength, or type profiles in the least, but it came in a sampler a long time ago, and I had decided to start smoking some of the sticks in my humis that fall outside of my normal rotation.

Cigars International describes it thusly;

"smooth, silky wrapper. Mellow and creamy to start, with a rich, somewhat sweet core. The aftertaste is toasty, but crisp. Toasted cedar through the nose. Medium-bodied with a rich, milky texture."

I'm just gonna go with a "stream of consciousness", sort of vibe on this review, and transcribe my thoughts and comments as I smoked it. Is this the way reviews are "normally" done? No. Do I look normal to you?? That's what I thought!

By the way, I didn't read any descriptions of the stick before I smoked it, as I didn't want any unconscious bias butting in, especially considering I was already starting out with my own bias, ready to put my nose in the air and declare it "boring" just on principle, due to my typical preferred smokes. 

Paired with single origin, organic, Peruvian, meduim-dark roast coffee, served hot with a bit of Milo and 1/2 & 1/2.

"Hmm... Toast.

Ooh. Creamy.

Oh, it's buttery... Like BUTTERED toast!

*smack smack smacking lips*

So much toast! And it's so buttery and creamy!

Oh! And now it's kinda sweet too.

*more lip smacking*

Look at all these huge billows of creamy, white smoke!

Mmmm. Now there's this hint of woodsy cedar adding to the mix.
This is actually pretty nice!

It's like... having sweet cream, buttered toast with my coffee on the back deck of a forest cabin.

Wow! Who knew such a mild little cigar could be so yummy?
Oh, well, I guess Oliva knew - Duhhhh.
Man! This is really nice for such a mild stick.

I might actually have to get a few more of these for breakfast/morning coffee cigars."
I smoked it alllll the way down to the.. well, Nub!

So, there you have it!

 Even for this die-hard, bold and strong fanatic/snob, the Nub 460 is a treat, and it's getting, believe it or not, a 7/10, which is practically unheard of from me, for something this low key.

Saturday, 17 August 2019

Review ~ JFR Lunatic Habano Short Robusto (5/10)

This was the featured cigar at this months Tulalip Resort Casino Cigar Night.

Coming in at #7 in Cigar Aficionado's top 10 rated cigars of 2018, and boasting a CA rating of 93, the JFR Lunatic Habano should have been something to write home about - one would think.

On initial inspection, the stick looks beautiful - smooth and sleek, with a nice, slight sheen, solid construction, and is presented with a golden, foil wrap, which, when removed, reveals a lovely,  partially closed foot.

According to Cigar Aficionado,

    "The cigar is profoundly nutty (no pun intended) with precise notes of cashew and walnut wonderfully layered atop a core of coffee bean",
 and Cigars International says it is,
    "Exploding with notes of roasted nuts, earth, toast and coffee".

 Taking in the aroma of the unlit beauty, it seems all those promises will be delivered, in abundance. It smells like a high end sweets store, specialising in chocolates and nuts, and my expectations are in line with the rating.

The light was practically effortless (I use the light and cut method - AKA, La Méthode de Jacques Puisais), and the draw was smooth right off the bat, though it didn't really seem to taste like much at all. No biggie - That is often the case at the beginning of a stick, though less common with the medium to full bodied smokes, as this one purports to be.

After the first several puffs though, the only description I could come up with for the flavour profile was, "confusing".

Initially, there was a very slight peppery hint, followed by just kind of generic, any-cigar flavour, light and smooth, with a decent amount of smoke and solid ash. Pleasant, but not especially noteworthy.

Once it got to about 1/3rd down, a bit of an earthy, almost grassy flavour revealed itself. Not quite earth and not quite grass, but more, as I described to a fellow attendee, kind of tasted like the scent of the bottom of a piece of sod. Now, I know that may not sound very nice out loud (or in print), but it really isn't at all an  unpleasant aroma. If you've ever done landscaping, you know what I mean. If not, just take my word that it is a nice, early summertime, outdoorsy, nostalgic kind of smell that feels like lying on the lawn after a good day's work.

As it got closer to the last 1/3rd, the pepper resurfaced, this time more distinguishable as perhaps white pepper. Again, not strongly at all. Just a touch to linger on the tongue and back of the throat.

It was smokable all the way down to just into the last 1/4, before it tasted "done".
My initial instinct was to label this stick as "bland" or "boring", but the truth is that it is simply a lot milder and more subtle than I tend to prefer in my smokes.

Bottom line, despite my disappointment (my sponsor says the definition of expectations is premeditated disappointment. I concur!), it is a decent tasting, pleasant cigar, and,  at $6 a stick, if you like mild to medium, not too complex cigars, worth a try, as long as you're not expecting it to taste like the unlit version smells, or like the advertisers say it does.

While I wont be buying any more of the habanos, I actually DID buy a couple of the Maduros to try, figuring they may be more to my liking. One to smoke in a few days, and another to leave in the humidor for a few months and see how it ages. So, we'll see how those go.

I give this one a 5/10, meaning just average, but not at all bad. YMMV. 

As an addendum, seeing as pretty much everyone at the event I spoke to or overheard seemed to have a very similar experience, combined with the fact that there was some issue with this shipment being late in arriving, meaning that it may have spent more time in transit than usual, and the box may NOT have spent as much time in the humi before we got them... It occurs to me that this could have been a factor. So, if the Maduro versions are good after some time in my humidor, I may see about trying another one of these, or at least giving them the benefit of the doubt. 

Tuesday, 19 March 2019

What I like about and seek within a D/s dynamic (from the 's' side)

I have been tasked with writing out, in detail, what I like about D/s (from the bottom), what, exactly, I seek within a D/s dynamic, and why. 

If you are a dominant man interested in pursuing  a D/s dynamic with me, you should read this entire post, as well as my full profile, if you have not already done so, to see if you are actually interested. 

What I seek (and am not seeking)
Right up front, I am not interested in being owned again. I have come to value my rights and freedoms too much to to be a slave.

 I seek a service and protocol oriented (as opposed to sexually oriented) D/s dynamic, with a strong focus on motivating me to develop and maintain good habits, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, in addition to service and BDSM aspects. 

Clearly defined rules, expectations, routines, discipline, and communication are essential for me. I do not require (or particularly desire) micromanaging, nor am I looking for a boyfriend, daddy, lover, or someone to rescue me (other than from my own foibles, perhaps), fix my problems, or do my footwork for me. I want - I NEED - someone who will motivate and push me to do my own footwork, who will not accept anything less than my best, and who will never consider failure to be a valid option.

  When I find a man to whom I will submit, I will strive to be obedient and pleasing to him, to serve him well and humbly, and to reflect well upon him and others who took time to train me. That said, the dynamic I seek does involve negotiations, limits, and allows me to retain many of the rights and status of a free woman, including the right to decide, ultimately, to whom I will or will not defer, the continuing ownership of my own property, including my human property, and being permitted to speak freely in public, within reason, subject, of course, to limitations placed on me by my [Sir/Dom/Boss/D-type], and the proper bounds of a free woman. 

The arrangement could, potentially, include periods of "contract slavery" (meaning, in this context, a set period or periods of time, during which I behave and am treated fully as a slave - likely in private only, but technically retain my status as a free woman)

I am also serious when I say I am not looking for a sexually focused dynamic. 
This is ideal for a man who is specifically looking for a power dynamic because he gets something out of being the boss - being in charge, moulding and shaping a person into something better, being obeyed, setting rules and enforcing them, being served for the sake of service, etc, and gets his sexual needs met elsewhere, rather than one who is looking for a relationship or sex with a D/s component

If it is in any way your goal for sexual service to eventually be involved, if you have trouble understanding how a D/s dynamic could work without a sexual component, or if you will require me to meet any of your sexual needs as part of any arrangement, your focus and mine do not mesh, and I am not what you want, and I do not wish to waste your time or mine with something which will not work.

Someone local would be great, and would allow for the BDSM aspects I crave, though long distance is doable, with proper communication and oversight. 

I live alone and plan to continue to do so. I will not be relocating or cohabiting with anyone. I am poly, and will not permit interference in my other relationships. (these points are absolutely non-negotiable).

What I like (and some of the why)
I like the structure, comfort, and security that D/s can provide. 

Life is full of uncertainties, and that can be even more true for someone who tends to be fiercely independent in most areas of life. When you have only yourself to answer to, sure, there is a lot of freedom in that, however, there is also the risk of becoming stagnant, losing focus or motivation,  or getting caught in a tailspin trying to second guess yourself. 
Having established structure, rules, routines, schedule, and ongoing goals helps keep me healthy, in all respects, and I know that, but often, at least for me, simply knowing something is the right thing to do for myself isn't enough motivation. Even when I know I'm going to feel bad or guilty if I do/don't do something, I will often go for the instant gratification instead, and then feel like crap over it for the next however long. 

I have no problem doing right by other people, but if it's just me who is affected, it's a struggle. 
It is a weakness. I know it is. I have lots of strengths. That is not one. 

When I am answering to someone else for these sorts of things, I have more motivation, because I don't want to let that person down. Disappointing or displeasing someone to whom I am in service is very emotionally upsetting to me, and I will go to great lengths to avoid doing so. Conversely, having specific goals, tasks, rules, and similar means to be pleasing gives me more incentive to reach and maintain those goals - to know that he is proud of me, and/or pleased with me. 

The comfort and security factors come with knowing where the boundaries are, what is expected of me, and that his rules will be enforced. I need to know that wilfully disobeying or falling short will result in consequences beyond just feeling bad, and that he is strong enough (of will) to follow through and follow up. I will not "brat" constantly on purpose, try and force his hand, or "top from the bottom" to try and get a particular outcome, however, I do have a strong tendency to test boundaries (usually so I know exactly where they are and that they are real)
I can can also frequently go too far before realising I am doing so, when I am passionate about something, or caught up in the moment, especially if that moment seems funny to me. That can usually be brought to heel right away with a simple look, tone, or word to remind me of my place. I just need someone willing and able to give me that word, look, tone, command, or what have you.  

I can be a frustrating person. I rely heavily on logic, and am more prone to rail against a decision if it doesn't make sense to me. I will get caught up in technicalities. I will find and probably exploit loopholes. I will be upfront and honest about doing so, giving information and opportunity to close them, rather than using them to be deceitful or get away with things in secret, but I will use them if they are there. It is my nature. That's why I need someone more dominant than I, to keep me in check.

Some background information, may, perhaps, offer a better understanding of what I seek, and why.
I have been free since 2010, March 1.
For close to eight years prior to that, I was a Gorean slave; Fully owned, subject to all free (within the confines of my master's wishes, of course), and rightless.  I was given much rigorous training in casual and formalised service of food and drink, domestic and personal services, common slave positions, walking, standing, crawling, and speaking as a slave, striving for absolute obedience, perfect service, deference, and remembering to always mind my station, and speak "from my knees", in thought, even when not in fact.

 I also have been active in the BDSM scene since the very early 1990s, and have a great deal of experience with many forms of play, including a substantial amount of "edge play". I have a fairly high threshold for many forms of pain, so can be taken relatively far in terms of pain or other extreme sensation. (I have more detailed information regarding that, as well as references)
I tend to be driven by the desire to serve, so will endure a great many things I may not *like*, for the sake of pleasing the one to whom I am in service at a given time.

Now, to more of the aforementioned whys...
Since being granted freedom, I have much enjoyed the privileges afforded me; The ability to speak as and when I see fit, to show deference and/or respect based on merit, rather than status, to come and go as I please, wear what I like, and answer to no one but myself, my higher power, or other legitimate authority that life can present to us all. (Please note that if I agree to submit to someone, that places them in the legitimate authority category.)

I plan to retain some degree of these freedoms. 

Nonetheless, I find that I miss many of the forms and fulfillments of service, being held in perfect obedience, put to my knees or through "slave paces" (positions, formalised serving, etc), subject to discipline, bound by rules, given tasks and/or punishments, whether for my own betterment, or simply because it pleases the one in charge.
I sometimes need to find that place within myself which is available only in subjugation of my will to that of another, completely adhering to the proper mindset, behaviour, and demeanour befitting a slave when serving in that capacity, whether that service is taking a beating, polishing boots (to USMC standards!) or silverware, cooking and/or serving meal or drinks, washing the dishes, engaging in conversation, simply sitting at their feet, or whatever other task or duty may be required of me. 

More importantly, I consistently find that I need direction and enforcement in order to stay on a proper path. Left completely to my own devices, I tend to go completely adrift, or crash and burn. I need to be accountable to an external authority in order to keep that from happening. And yes, I do mean "need". It has become very clear that this is a need, rather than a want. In fact, there are times when I really DON'T "want" it; But I definitely need it!

Here is the rub though...
I am through surrendering completely, without limit, as I have before. I am not a slave.
I (selfishly, perhaps, but I must be utterly honest here) wish to have a say in the limits and terms of my service.
I wish to negotiate, rather than to simply hand over all future decisions and rights to another person.

Publicly, and, by this I mean in general, day to day life and in interactions with my peers, especially those within the Gorean community, I wish to maintain the status of free woman, so that I will not be subject to the expectations placed upon a slave, except possibly during certain times mutually agreed to or deemed necessary, and even then, only within parameters which do not damage my standing as a free woman.

I realise that I clearly wish to, as it is said, "have my cake and eat it too". I further understand that many may find such selfish in the extreme and perhaps even deplorable, but I submit my thoughts and needs in full transparency, that interested parties may better know if this fits with what they seek, or whether they would prefer to move on. 

If you've gotten this far, and are still interested in more details, below is a list of my previous owners/dominants, and some of the rules and contracts within those dynamics. I'd ideally like something very close to the most recent contract again, though, of course, every dominant will have their own additions/tweaks. Constructive comments and suggestions on the editable, Google doc are welcome.

 Chuck - Owner most of 2000 (links to contract and rules when I find the old info)
 Owl - Owner 2003, July 19 to 2010, March 1 - (no contract - full chattel slavery) [rules]
 CW - Dom/Commander late 2010 to 2015, December (no contract - verbal agreement) [rules]
 LRD - Dom early 2016 to 2018, March 6 - [contract]  [rules]

Also added, 2019.0924, due to multiple requests for link, the schedule I am meant to be keeping. I haven't been doing a great job, of late.

Sunday, 17 February 2019

Conversation NON - Starters!

 ~ CONGRATULATIONS, Lucky Winner! ~ 

Your prize is a post full of useful advice to help you not be a douche! PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, read on before you send even ONE MORE unsolicited message!!

Since none of the dudebros seem to be able to comprehend the meaning of simple, key phrases and words located in profiles (or read fucking profiles at ALL), I've decided to further break them down into even simpler explanations. These rules apply to at least 99% of ALL women, everywhere. If you don't follow all these helpful hints, and wonder why you keep striking out, be advised; The women you try to talk to are not stuck up, bitches, cunts, etc. The problem is YOU!

I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

  •     READ their fucking profile! No, really, READ IT. Before you message. Then follow directions and respect boundaries!
  •      "No", in any form (outside of an already established D/s dynamic or negotiated scene), does not mean, "try harder", "maybe", "only if you explain to me why your peen is teh [not a typo] magic one", or "please shower me with insults, abuse, and threats of rape and/or other violence now". It fucking means "NO", you bucking funt!
  •     The proper way to start a conversation with a stranger is NOT a demand for someone's age, sex/gender, and/or location. EVER! Period! That's none of your fucking business. Besides, if you had read their fucking profile, it probably would have told you, you diseased rhinoceros pizzle.
  •     "Lesbian" does not mean, "hasn't found teh magic peen". Are you willing to try the cocks of random strangers to determine whether you are SURE you don't like cock?? No? Then don't expect anyone else to, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous poo fungus.
  •     Women are not sex or fetish vending machines. If you want pussy or kink on demand, hire a sex worker. If you treat them like you apparently treat random women on the internet, expect to pay an extra, "douchebarrel surcharge".
  •     If you don't have anything more interesting to say than, "hi", "hru", or some other banal nonsense, try reading their profile and coming up with something of substance to say. We aren't here to entertain you on demand. If you want a conversation, make actual conversation. Duh! 
  •     Unless actually asked, talking about your sexual preferences, desires, or telling a woman you are horny, sharing details or photos of your genitals is RUDE and unwanted! Don't fucking do it, you slug-slimed sack of rat guts in cat vomit.

Now, if you have managed to get this far, without  defaulting to a butthurt, tantrum tirade, and would like to actually converse with, and/or get to know the woman you messaged, start with the profile!!

Click here for a link to mine.

And if you want to know how to get a positive response from me, specifically, click here.