Friday 3 January 2014

What does it mean when I say I am poly?

I can be part of one or more long term, committed relationships, with one or more different people in each of those relationships.


I don't believe that love or affection are finite resources.
I find that the more I embrace sharing the love (and no, I am not referring to sex here), the more I appreciate all of those interconnected relationships.

Being poly is not the same (for me) as being a swinger, a player, or being free to "get some on the side", nor does it mean I'm "getting all the pussy/cock", or that I am "DTF" all and sundry, as many seem to assume.

While the agreements I have do allow for casual sexual encounters, that's really not my thing, and not something I seek.

That doesn't mean they never happen or that I am opposed to them, but honestly, I tend to require that there be some real form of spiritual, emotional and/or intellectual connection in addition to simple physical/chemical attraction in order to be sexually attracted to and turned on by someone.

I'm not interested in "hookups". I'm on dating, kink, chat, and social networking sites mainly to engage in discussions that I find interesting. I also use them for socialising with friends or arranging play time or hanging out, but those things come AFTER common ground and connection/friendship is established, not before.

Thursday 2 January 2014

My kinks


I have a lot of kinks and I've got a lot of experience in most of them.
Unless otherwise noted, I have the toys and tools for everything listed.

I'm a switch, so I've included things I like to do to people and things I like having done to me.



If there is something you are interested in doing with me that you don't see listed here or on my limits list, and we have already discussed playing (do not just message me randomly asking for play!! This is very clear in all my profiles, everywhere!), ask me about it. I may be interested and/or have forgotten to list it here.


   As a bottom:

I REALLY enjoy thuddy floggers, sensual caning, claws/knives/other sharp implements, electricity on more massage-y like settings (as opposed to sharp, owie settings. My favourite violet wand attachment is the really big globe. YUMMY!), fireplay, sensual touch, gentle biting, hair pulling (but only if you know how to do it right!) D/s (with the right person. More on that here), fear/terror play, mindfuck.

I like bondage, and having pretty things done to me with rope/chain/etc.

I am interested in exploring suspension, although I am TERRIFIED of it (phobia of heights, and my brain does not differentiate between a 6 inch drop and and a 100 foot drop. If my feet cannot touch ground, it's all the same!) It will take someone with a lot of patience and ability to guide me well to help me with this.

I am NOT a masochist!! Seriously. Not at all! I have a theory about pain... It fucking hurts and I don't fucking like it!!.
There are lots of forms of sensation, even extreme sensation which I enjoy. Others may register many of them as pain, but I do not. So, again, I do NOT like pain. If I register it as pain, I don't like it.
I don't typically like stingy things, singletails, or needles, though sometimes I crave them anyway.

Sometimes need things that I find painful or that I dislike, because it is cathartic for me, and/or I enjoy the endorphin high from them.
I'm afraid of and triggered (PTSD) by face slapping. It's something that would need to be approached VERY carefully, with the ability to fix me if I break.

I really don't like humiliation or degradation at all. No catharsis, no endorphin rush, nothing good. It's the sort of thing best reserved only for punishment.

There are a lot more things that I can enjoy doing as a service to someone within a D/s dynamic, even though I don't necessarily like the activities themselves. More on that here.



  As a top:

I LOVE and am experienced with
Knifeplay, bloodplay, needles, cuttings, decorative scarification, fear/terror play, mindfuck, choking, breath control, hair pulling, biting, D/s, bondage (police style cuffs and manacles, leather/rubber wrist & ankle cuffs, chains, locks, rope - decorative and utilitarian, predicament bondage, and more!), fisting (vaginal), breast/nipple teasing/torture, pussy teasing/torture, punching, being served, high protocol, slave training (positions, protocol, paces, etc), foot service (see this post for what that means for me), slicing/ripping clothes off, taking trophies (blood vials, panties, shredded/bloodied clothing, a lock of hair, ...??...) .


I enjoy and am experienced with
Electricity (TENS/Violet wands/electric flyswatter, shock collars), flogging, bloodplay, Hot Ash/Cigar play, forced smoking, cellpopping/microbranding, caning (sensual and otherwise), CBT, clamps, clothes pins, spanking, paddles, other thuddy and stingy impact toys (I have LOTS!!), rape scenes, take downs, kicking, being the villain.


I am interested in or like, but not/not very experienced with
  • Singletails (I can hit my target reliably with my 4' baby bull whips. Anything else I still need to learn.)
  • Suspension (No experience, but want to learn and will need test subjects)
  • Advanced ropework (I know some basic ties and can make some pretty harnesses, but want to learn more)
 
Other
I am not into anal play at all. For a VERY few close friends/partners, I am willing to help with experimentation, such as inserting plugs and such, but for the most part, that's gonna be a no.

I'm not really big on humiliation/degradation, but am willing to discuss the possibility, to a degree, if it will really benefit the scene or if it is part of a specific role play scenario.