Thursday, 4 October 2018

Baby Back Ribs (A Parody)

I like pig butts and I cannot lie
you other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with some piggy on a plate
shoving bacon in your face
you get sprung, want to eat it up
'Cause that big pork butt was stuffed
With cornbread stuffing and I'm raring
I'm hooked and I won't be sharing


Oh baby, I want to cook wit'cha
I like your kitchen fixtures
At first you tried to tongue me
But those chops you got make (me so hungry)


Ooh, I like some chitlins
And I'll make you some soup with griskin
Well, you see, I'm choosey
'Cause I need that sausage doozy


I've seen her smokin'
I tell you I'm not jokin'
It's vinaigrette, wet,
She's grillin' up some spareribs next


I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' lean cuts are the thing
Take the barbeque man and ask him that
She gotta pack fatback


So, fellas (yeah) Fellas (yeah)
Has your grocery got the butt? (hell yeah)
Tell 'em to smoke it ( smoke it) smoke it ( smoke it)
smoke that porker butt


Baby back ribs!(spicy sauce with some fried sowbelly)
Baby back ribs!(spicy sauce with some fried sowbelly)


I like 'em ground, and big
And when I'm eatin' a pig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal


I want to get it home
And ugh, heat it up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playdoh
'Cause I want pig parts parts made adobo


I want 'em real thick and juicy
So give me more than a nibble
Look at that sauce dribble
Beggin' for a piece of that kibble


So I'm lookin' at food videos
Omeletes with cheese and chorizo
You can feed the dingos
I'll eat my bacon with jo jos


A word to the health nut hipstas, don't want to get with ya
I might cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I want to eat
Til the break of dawn
Smoked hogs got it goin' on
A lot of simps like buttered clams
But if it ain't made of piglet just quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
Make it with ham or maybe spam
And I'm down to hit the sandwich stand


So, ladies (Yeah) Ladies (Yeah)
Lets hit the drive-thru in my Mercedes (Yeah)
Then turn around and dish it out
Eat some tenderloin of sow
Baby back ribs
Baby back ribs


Yeah, baby, when it comes to meat sales
Costco ain't got nothin'
on Safeway's pork selection
$36.20 for thirty pounds
Oh yeah. It's a BBQ dream!


So your girlfriend from Rwanda, makes bratwurst that I'm fond of
She spawned a boar eatin' monster and named her Rhonda
My sister Wanda don't want none
Unless you grill the buns, hon


You can smoke sides of beef or brisket
But please don't skip that shoat
Some brothers want to play that hard role
And tell you pork belly ain't gol'
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
If the label says lowfat
Well I ain't down with that
'Cause your roast is done and it's finger lickin'
And I forgot about chicken.


Now the bean sprout dishes in the magazines
They ain't it, Miss Thing
Give me a biscuit, I can't resist it
Some salt pork fryin' in the skillet
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his menu's not on my list
He had hot links but he chose to boil 'em
I told him that would spoil 'em
So ladies, if the cook ain't home,
And you want some smoked neck bone,
Dial 1-900-BAR-B-QUE
And lick that tasty sauce


Baby back ribs
Baby back ribs


© Khaos WolfKat 2016