Sunday, 17 February 2019

Conversation NON - Starters!

 ~ CONGRATULATIONS, Lucky Winner! ~



Your prize is a post full of useful advice to help you not be a douche! PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, read on before you send even ONE MORE unsolicited message!!


Since none of the dudebros seem to be able to comprehend the meaning of simple, key phrases and words located in profiles (or read fucking profiles at ALL), I've decided to further break them down into even simpler explanations. These rules apply to at least 99% of ALL women, everywhere. If you don't follow all these helpful hints, and wonder why you keep striking out, be advised; The women you try to talk to are not stuck up, bitches, cunts, etc. The problem is YOU!


I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.

  •     READ their fucking profile! No, really, READ IT. Before you message. Then follow directions and respect boundaries!
  •      "No", in any form (outside of an already established D/s dynamic or negotiated scene), does not mean, "try harder", "maybe", "only if you explain to me why your peen is teh [not a typo] magic one", or "please shower me with insults, abuse, and threats of rape and/or other violence now". It fucking means "NO", you bucking funt!
  •     The proper way to start a conversation with a stranger is NOT a demand for someone's age, sex/gender, and/or location. EVER! Period! That's none of your fucking business. Besides, if you had read their fucking profile, it probably would have told you, you diseased rhinoceros pizzle.
  •     "Lesbian" does not mean, "hasn't found teh magic peen". Are you willing to try the cocks of random strangers to determine whether you are SURE you don't like cock?? No? Then don't expect anyone else to, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous poo fungus.
  •     Women are not sex or fetish vending machines. If you want pussy or kink on demand, hire a sex worker. If you treat them like you apparently treat random women on the internet, expect to pay an extra, "douchebarrel surcharge".
  •     If you don't have anything more interesting to say than, "hi", "hru", or some other banal nonsense, try reading their profile and coming up with something of substance to say. We aren't here to entertain you on demand. If you want a conversation, make actual conversation. Duh! 
  •     Unless actually asked, talking about your sexual preferences, desires, or telling a woman you are horny, sharing details or photos of your genitals is RUDE and unwanted! Don't fucking do it, you slug-slimed sack of rat guts in cat vomit.

Now, if you have managed to get this far, without  defaulting to a butthurt, tantrum tirade, and would like to actually converse with, and/or get to know the woman you messaged, start with the profile!!

Click here for a link to mine.


And if you want to know how to get a positive response from me, specifically, click here.