How to get a positive response from me

(posted here so people not on FetLife can also read it)

I accept friend requests from:

• People I would like to get to know better and/or keep in contact, AND...
• Have met in real life.
• With whom I have chatted or messaged enough to establish at least some kind of mutual connection.
  

 Before you message me:

• At least read this entire post. I'd prefer you read my entire profile, actually, but this post is a minimum requirement.
• Don't message me with requests or invitations for sex, kink, or wank fodder, telling me that you're horny, discussions about my or your sexual habits/desires/fantasies/fetishes, or anything else that would be inappropriate to say to a random stranger in person.
• In other words, approach me as a human being, not a fetish/sex dispenser, prostitute, or object on display for your viewing pleasure.
• Along the same lines, I am not your girl, dear, baby, lil one, or any other pet name or diminutive. Unless we have already established a rapport which calls for that level of familiarity, do not address me as such.
• DO NOT address me as "Miss". It makes my skin crawl and you will immediately earn my annoyance. Honorifics preferred are Mistress, Ma'am, or M'Lady (in that order).
  
• I'm not into small talk. Sending me message that just consists of, "Hi/What's up/How are you", or similar will get you an equally bland reply, at best.
  
• Bear in mind that I'm not going to carry the conversation for you, and you should have at least read enough of my profile to see if we even have anything in common on which to base a conversation, and to make sure you aren't asking me questions which are already answered here.
• I put a lot of time and effort into making a profile that tells you who I am and what I'm about. At least be willing to put in the small effort of a few minutes reading before sending me a message based only on my gender, location, or pictures.
• I do not give out my off site contact information to strangers. If we have not gotten to know one another enough for me to freely offer you my Skype/email/number/etc, you are a stranger. 
• On a related note, I will NOT download Kik/telegram/blahblahchat/any additional messaging platforms for your convenience, so don't bother asking.
  
• I HATE "text speak" (how ru, wat u up2, etc). I like proper spelling, grammar, and intelligent conversation.
• If you use the phrase, "hit me up", as a way to request that I reply, I will immediately assume we are incompatible.

• If you are just looking for play sessions, without the whole, getting to know me part, you may contact me via my sessions page. My inbox is for personal contact only, not professional.

Would be slaves/subs who are interested in serving me:

• ❆ Read my entire profile, the blog entry here, my limits list, and this.
• ❆ Those who do not will be ignored, told off, and/or or mocked. I am not interested in so called slaves who do not follow directions.

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  You should message me if...

• ❆ You are capable of and willing to send an actual message that contains some meaningful content, at least an attempt at passable spelling, grammar, and punctuation, DOES NOT CONTAIN your unsolicited fetish shopping list, fantasies, "erotica", photos, or requests for sex, kink, or photos (this includes leading with sex or kink!), and does not contain text speak (ie:"how ru", "ASL", and such).

• Honestly, if you can't take the extra few moments to type out an introduction and decent message, using complete words, how in the world am I to believe you'd take the time to get to know me beyond, "hey baby u want 2 get kinky sexy?"

• ❆ You are open minded, rigorously honest, loving (to all!), free thinking, open to new explorations of mind, body and soul, creative, expressive, passionate and in love with life, living and all the possibilities contained therein.
• ❆ You're a geek.
• ❆ you're a Metalhead.
• ❆ You are self confident or are striving to become more so.
• ❆ You don't care for social mores or taboos. (and you don't use that as an excuse to be a douche!)
• ❆ You are easily amused or entertained and/or you like girls who are.
• ❆ You're Gorean or interested in Gorean philosophies.
• ❆ You want to play cool card/board games with me! (I have lots of them.. Just need the opponents!)

• ❆ You want to converse about any of the above topics.
• ❆ You are a WOMAN, seeking a strict and nurturing mistress to serve, please and obey. (Follow above instructions before contacting me!)
• ❆ You're NOT looking for "cybering", phone sex, sexting, or hookups.
• ❆ You are NOT interested in "discreet" play (I will not be anyone's secret!)
• ❆ You're NOT "poly, but your s/o doesn't know it" (that's called cheating, and you're a cheating asshole!).
• ❆ You are NOT interested in engaging in any dishonest or deceitful activities or trying to get me to do so.
• ❆ You just feel like messaging me (as long as the previous 4 apply to you as well)