Thursday, 22 May 2014

Playing with me - Things you should know

Since I get a lot of requests for play, and often, the same questions come up, I figured I'd post something informational, which explains a great deal about who I like to play with, how I like to play, and what people can expect from playing with me.
I'm a switch. That means I enjoy both topping and bottoming, serving and being served.
Don't let this confuse you though... I'm not an "equal opportunity" switch.
Different people bring out different sides of me. That's just the way it is.

I play with people of all gender identifications/non identifications, but the ways I play with male/female/other identifying people differ. No, this is not "fair". I play for my enjoyment and fulfilment, not as a public service for equality. Deal with it or go play with someone else.

As a top:

I will top most anyone who approaches me respectfully. I enjoy it. I will, on occasion, "service top", but if that is what you want, you have to be VERY clear about that up front. If you want a specific scene, tell me so, and we may be able to negotiate that.
Usually though, when I top, I dominate. I am in charge. I won't violate limits, and we will talk in depth about those, as well as potential triggers and such, because I want to make sure my subs/bottoms/slaves are taken care of!
If you tell me you want to serve me, or let me have my way with you, I will take you at your word. That means I will have MY way with you - not your way. Trying to manipulate me into "forcing" you to live out all your kinky fantasies under the guise of "serving" me will not go over well. At all. I am a sadist!!
This means that I enjoy hurting people, and will enjoy your suffering. Your tears please me. So do your screams and pleas for mercy.
Don't worry (too much), I also enjoy rewarding my bottoms with things they enjoy, and making them scream with pleasure as well as pain, and I will likely grill you thoroughly beforehand about your fantasies, likes, dislikes, fears, etc, so that I can fashion a scene geared to make the most of those things for our mutual benefit, but always remember that I'm running the show!

You will find a list of things I am experienced in and enjoy doing to people here.

If you are male identified and bodied
Sex and sexual touching are almost definitely not going to be a part of any play that we do. I am not attracted to submissive men. No, really.. I'm not. No, you are highly unlikely to be the exception to that. There will be no face sitting, blowjobs, handjobs, "forcing" you to touch my genitals in any way whatsoever, worshipping my body in any sexual fashion, touching your body in a sexual fashion, etc. If you attempt to beg, cajole, guilt, or otherwise manipulate me into any of the above, including "accidental", or "not being able to control yourself", it will be the end of playing with me. Ever. Period. (NOTE: Being unable to control an erection or ejaculation is understandable and won't end play. It may give me ammo to TORMENT you, but I won't actually blame you for it!)
The only things I'm likely to do with your penis involve CBT (Yay!).

Being a TV, CD, or sissy does not magically identify you as female for me.

If you are a transman
Most of the above is applicable, except that if you are pre/non op and are interested in having your bits made happy, it's likely negotiable.

If you are female identified
Sexual play is not a guarantee, but it is extremely likely that it will be negotiable. I love getting it on with hot women and rumour has it that I'm fairly good at it. (BTW, don't assume you aren't hot based on someone else's standards!!)

If you are a transwoman
Same as above, but if you are pre/non op, you should know that anal play is not my thing, and the same rules for penis as for the guys are likely to apply. (There's some possibility of an exception, depending on situation and how much of a female vibe I feel from you at the time. Negotiation is key!)

As a bottom:

I like to get worked over thoroughly from time to time, and have a list of things I love over here. If I'm bottoming, as opposed to submitting, It's going to be a lot more about what I want than what you want to do to me. Yes, I will cheerfully (well, mostly LOL) take a couple strikes, lashes, pokes, or whatever "for you", and we can negotiate things so we both get our needs/wants met. That's only fair, but I won't really be obedient or docile or any of that, most likely.

As a submissive:

It takes a very specific sort of person to trigger my submissive side. Women rarely do, but it has been known to happen on occasion.
My submission can not be demanded. That just doesn't work. If you decide to go all "domly" on me without my having indicated any sort of deference to you or negotiating such a dynamic, and I'm in a charitable mood, I might just smile at you and shake my head. If not so charitable, I'll probably roll my eyes and possibly outright laugh at you.

Arrogance, entitlement, ego, and bravado are not things that engender my submission. Quiet strength, self mastery, and confidence are. I am dominant by nature and strong of will. A man who is more dominant (not domineering!) than I am, and it shows, without his feeling the need to prove anything, is what gets my attention and makes my knees buckle.

If you DO trip that trigger, you'll most likely know ... I will be fairly obvious in my demeanour. I will defer to you, I will often lower my gaze, perhaps sneaking eye contact, or boldly looking you in the eye before looking down in an almost shy manner. I will be of service to you in various ways, even if not actively "serving" you.

If we play, I will accept, and likely even request a D/s dynamic. I will take just about anything you dish out, (within my limits) whether it is something I enjoy for its own sake or not. My pain and/or suffering will be offered up to you as tribute, service, and devotion. I will be grateful for the things you do that I enjoy, and will do my best to earn them. I will obey (usually), and when I don't, I will accept punishment as gracefully as I can. Within this sort of dynamic, making clear the difference between punishment and "funishoment" is vital, as I will be in a state of mind and spirit that makes being displeasing to the point of earning punishment truly devastating to me.

When I am fully in a submissive headspace, it's very complete.
I was a fully owned, rightless, Gorean slave for over seven years, and that training does not just go away!

This means that you are my guide during that time, and, in many ways, responsible for me. It is important to remember things like the fact that I will follow the last orders given. If you leave me kneeling and walk away without giving me leave to move about, I will most likely stay there until you give me permission to do otherwise. 

If I HAVE to move (to go to the bathroom, for instance), I will feel as though I have failed and will be genuinely distraught. If we are getting ready to play, and I am just standing or kneeling there, I am probably waiting to be commanded. If we haven't previously established some routine, then you will need to tell me to strip, to face the rack, etc. I will be cooperative when it is obvious what you want me to do. For instance, I will put my wrists out for binding and such, but if I am unsure, I will wait for orders. I will not be or play dumb, but I will be very pliable and seek your direction, so please ensure that you are ready for such a task before accepting my submission to you for any length of time, whether the length of a scene, a day, or other contractual period.

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