~ CONGRATULATIONS, Lucky Winner! ~
Since none of the dudebros seem to be able to comprehend the meaning of simple, key phrases and words located in profiles (or read fucking profiles at ALL), I've decided to further break them down into even simpler explanations. These rules apply to at least 99% of ALL women, everywhere. If you don't follow all these helpful hints, and wonder why you keep striking out, be advised; The women you try to talk to are not stuck up, bitches, cunts, etc. The problem is YOU!
I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
- READ their fucking profile! No, really, READ IT. Before you message. Then follow directions and respect boundaries!
- "No", in any form (outside of an already established D/s dynamic or negotiated scene), does not mean, "try harder", "maybe", "only if you explain to me why you possess 'teh magical peen of dick deploying'", or "please shower me with insults, abuse, and threats of rape and/or other violence now". It fucking means "NO", you bucking funt!
- The proper way to start a conversation with a stranger is NOT a demand for someone's age, sex/gender, and/or location. EVER! Period! That's none of your fucking business. Besides, if you had read their fucking profile, it probably would have told you, you flaccid, diseased rhinoceros pizzle.
- The proper way to start a conversation with a stranger is ALSO not requests/demands for kink, sex, wank fodder, or anything else you would not want some random dude walking up and asking of you, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper.
- Women are not sex or fetish vending machines, you meat-headed shit sack. If you want pussy or kink on demand, hire a sex worker. If you treat them like you apparently treat random women on the internet, expect to pay an extra, "douchebarrel surcharge".
- "Lesbian" does not mean, "hasn't found teh magic peen". Are you willing to try the cocks of random strangers to determine whether you are SURE you don't like cock?? No? Then don't expect anyone else to, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous poo fungus.
- If you don't have anything more interesting to say than, "hi", "hru", or some other banal nonsense, try reading their profile and coming up with something of substance to say. We aren't here to entertain you on demand. If you want a conversation, make actual conversation. Duh!
- Unless actually asked, talking about your sexual preferences, desires, telling a woman you are horny, or sharing details or photos of your genitals is RUDE and unwanted! Don't fucking do it, you slug-slimed sack of rat guts in cat vomit.
Now, if you have managed to get this far, without defaulting to a butthurt, tantrum tirade, and would like to actually converse with, and/or get to know the woman you messaged, start with the profile!!
Click here for a link to mine (the author of this post).
And if you want to know how to get a positive response from me, specifically, click here.
If you got here from a link posted by someone OTHER than Khaos, thank the gods that this useful information is being shared to more of the rando idiots out there!
To see or post interactions with HNGs, Dumbinants, do-me"slaves", and all other manner of specimens surely in training for the Darwin Awards, check out GL's Return to Sender section, here: https://goreanliving.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=45 .
To all and sundry wanting to send this to the fuck-knuckles who slime into your inboxes, FEEL FREE to do so! Just please share the link, rather than copy pasting it as though it is your own.
In fact, you are welcome to use the message I made for IRC as well. To use as an IRC script, paste as is in your alias scripts, and then type /prize or /asl , respectively, on a single line to activate it. To use as an emote anywhere emotes are supported, start with the /me part.
This one is for general randos (The number is the first 76 digits of Euler's Number) :
/prize /me covers her ears as she knows what's coming next. A VERY LOUD buzzer sounds, followed by an important announcement... 04"CONGRATULATIONS! You are the lucky winner of the Rando Wanker Number 2.718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699959574966967627724076630353……….. PRIZE! To collect your very special prize, please visit: http://blog.goreanliving.com/2019/02/conversation-non-starters.html "And this one is just for those mental giants who begin an interaction with, "ASL". (The number is the first 100 digits of pi):
/asl /me covers her ears as she knows what's coming next. A VERY LOUD buzzer sounds, followed by an important announcement... 04"CONGRATULATIONS! You are the lucky winner of the ASL Wanker Number 3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 7067~e PRIZE! To collect your very special prize, please visit: http://blog.goreanliving.com/2019/02/conversation-non-starters.html "
Enjoy!
P.S.
Bonus points if you spotted any or all of the film quotes/near quotes I sprinkled in there for additional entertainment value.
