My Limits

  Topping/Domming:

• Minors, animals, drunk/high people, dead people, or anyone else legally unable to give informed consent.

• Non-consensually involving others. (This includes breaching the confidentiality of others)

• Intentional actual injuries. ie: broken bones, sprains, head trauma, cuts requiring stitches (unless stitches are part of the scene), or anything else that should be seen in hospital.

• Exchange of bodily fluids w/out negotiation, health status information, and clear, prior consent.

• Scat, piss, vomit, or any other bodily waste play.

• Age play (including “teacher/mommy/daddy/aunt/incest/etc” type dynamics).

• DO NOT address me as "Miss". Honorifics preferred are Mistress, Ma'am, or M'Lady (in that order).
  

• Drama

• "Topping from the bottom"!

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Bottoming/Subbing:

As a free woman, I reserve the right to dictate my own limits when I choose to submit or bottom to someone. If you think this means that I am "in charge", then you may wish to move along.

• Minors, animals, drunk/high people, dead people, or anyone else legally unable to give informed consent.

• Non-consensually involving others. (This includes breaching the confidentiality of others)

• Cutting, bleaching, permanently colouring, perming or otherwise altering my hair in any way that would damage it and/or hinder its staying long and healthy.

• Anything that will scar or otherwise mark (long term) or disfigure my face.

• Anything that will harm/alter existing or planned body mods.

• Intentional actual injuries. ie: broken bones, sprains, head trauma, cuts requiring stitches, or anything else that should be seen in hospital.

• Tattoos, piercings, decorative cuttings, brandings etc without prior negotiation and consent.

• Exchange of bodily fluids w/out negotiation, health status information, and clear, prior consent.

• Scat, piss, vomit, or any other bodily waste play.

• Age play (including “teacher/mommy/daddy/aunt/incest/etc” type dynamics).  
• Body shaming or appearance based humiliation.

• Belts used on me. This includes actually using them on me or even threatening to in any form, even subtly or in jest.

• Switches (the kind cut from a tree/bush/etc - feel free to use a person who is a switch on me, consent permitting!) used on me, physically or as a threat.

• Pouring, dripping, splashing, or otherwise putting water (or other liquids) on me. This doesn't apply to in the shower/hot tub/pool, damp towels, ice, or ejaculate. If you're not sure, ask in advance for clarification

• I will not consume alcohol or drugs not prescribed to me and/or taken as prescribed/intended for any reason. This is non negotiable.

• I will not share my passwords. This goes for for email, social networking, journal sites, business, financial, or any other secure sites. This is not a level of privacy I will surrender, and it is almost universally a TOS violation.

• Micromanagement as a regular thing. Ie: accounting for every minute of the day, remaining in constant, 24/7 contact, checking in on every little thing, etc. Sometimes, for a specified period of time (hours, maybe days, not weeks+) is fine, but all or most of the time is a no-go.

•  Dietary restrictions, such as: Putting me on any kind of diet, forbidding certain foods/types of foods, requiring me to eat or drink specific things I dislike, or in any way using food or lack thereof as a reward or a punishment. The only exceptions to this are enforcing any dietary restrictions or changes specifically ordered by my doctor/health care team, such as making sure I am generally eating a healthy diet consisting of at least two meals per day (with an eventual goal of three meals per day) and keeping my overall blood sugar average at a healthy level. *Using food as reward or punishment creates an unhealthy relationship with food/eating and can lead to or exacerbate eating disorders.
  

• Isolation, such as forbidding contact with other people, groups, or types of people (like, "no talking to other doms/men/women/etc") without good cause. For a specified time period/scene/as a punishment is fine, as is for a valid reason, such as my own well being (Your insecurity/jealousy is not a valid reason!). Having it as a general rule is a deal-breaker.

• Similar to the previous, interfering with, forbidding, or attempting to sabotage pre-existing relationships, passions (ie:don't try to make me change my musical tastes or listening, quit/restrict coffee or cigars, stop making art, etc), or responsibilities, including, but not limited to: work (volunteer or otherwise), school, recovery, spiritual practices, medical appointments, family (including pets!) and social obligations.  (More on these last two)

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Additionally, I have some physical limitations which are not negotiable, even within a CNC dynamic. These are not limits which I impose, but rather, things which I am actually physically unable to do, or which will cause or worsen lasting damage, for various health/disability reasons.
There are work-arounds for pretty much all of these, mostly involving using the right furniture, supporting bonds/slings/etc, and adjusted positions, and none of these issues have prevented me from being able to engage in just about any type of play for nearly any length of time, with proper planning.

• I am unable to stand unassisted for more than five or so minutes, maximum - less on bad pain days.

Again, it's not just about not wanting to withstand the pain.. At a certain point, the nerve endings start clanging, legs stop working, and I will fall, which is unacceptable, as it is likely to cause additional, severe (potentially life threatening) injury.
If supported by a rack or something and able to lean, shift position slightly, use my arms to hang on to something and take some of my weight, etc, I am often able to stay upright for longer.

• I can no longer kneel without some kind of kneeling stool/bench (yes, they make those), and even then, only for short periods of time. 

• I cannot take significant impact on/over my right sacral joint.

I may be able to take more or less than you consider "significant" - The best thing to do is experiment and solicit my feedback.

• My right arm cannot be bound or held in a way which puts significant stress on the right shoulder for any more than a couple minutes.

• My knees and right hip cannot be stressed for more than a few minutes at a time. (hyperextended, overly stretched, etc)

Pansexual? Demisexual? Sapiosexual? What does that even mean?

For me, pansexual means that my sexual preferences are not limited to one, or even two genders.
In fact, much of the time, it isn't even about gender at all.

I am attracted to people I find attractive. The people I find attractive are not the sum of their parts and/or their gender or lack of gender.

Demisexual means I probably need to have a real connection with you on some kind of emotional and/or spiritual level in order to really be attracted to you enough to want to engage with you, sexually. 

Sapiosexual means I'm attracted to sexy brains! Stupidity, especially wilful stupidity is guaranteed to turn the hottest looking person into my personal anti-aphrodisiac. 

I'm attracted to hot people and activities.
Hot is subjective. If I think it's hot, then it is.

I like bits too.
I like tits. I like ass, especially nice, round, juicy, bouncy, shaking ass! (but not anus) I like pussy. I like cock. I like that spot just under the ear. I like necks, backs, thighs, backs of knees, the soft flesh of the inner elbow... I like bodies and responsive flesh in general.

Those bodies and bits don't need to match up to other people's gender perceptions for me to enjoy them or to enjoy the people of whom they are a part.

I like finding and exploiting erogenous zones. I especially love it when it turns out to be an erogenous zone the person never even knew they had! I love doing things with body bits. I like putting body parts into other body parts. I love doing things to make a partner lose control, gasp, squirm, say things or make sounds they never would have imagined, moan, scream, forget how to speak. I love having those things done to me.

Sometimes I'm attracted to a specific person(s) only at a particular time or in a certain context.

Sometimes it's the activity I'm hot for or attracted to.

My sexual orientation is whatever sharing of sexual and sensual pleasure I enjoy engaging in at any given moment.

For more specific information about playing with me, and how I tend to play with different genders, look here.

Favourite Music

I'm moving this to a separate writing to pare down my profile a bit.

Some favourite bands in no particular order:

In Flames; Samael; Opeth; Blind Guardian; Nightwish; Angra; Arch Enemy; Dissection; Lacuna Coil; Emperor; Nile; Dark Tranquillity; At The Gates; Bal Sagoth; Savatage; Enthroned; Children of Bodom; The Haunted; Sonata Arctica; The Crown; Abandoned; Demons & Wizards; Iced Earth; Odes of Ecstasy; Edge of Sanity; Soilwork; Jag Panzer; Hammerfall; Sinergy; Haggard; Cynic; Nocturnal Rites; Symphony X; Old Man's Child; Killswitch Engage; Entombed; Death; Nightingale; Angel Dust; Manowar; Rhapsody; Night In Gales; Epica; Within Temptation; Dream Theater; Theatre of Tragedy; Carcass; Gardenian; Gandalf; Chastisement; Borknagar; Naglfar; Rotting Christ; Keep Of Kalessin; Enter My Silence; Internal Bleeding; King Diamond; Dimmu Borgir; Hypocrisy; Nightingale; Ceremonial Castings; Gift of Prophecy; Dragonforce; Cradle of Filth; Raventhrone; Amon Amarth; Sentenced; Morbid Angel; Virgin Steele; Kamelot; Einherjer; Leaves Eyes; My Dying Bride; Sabaton; Amorphis; Korpiklaani; Armageddon; Paradise Lost; Deicide; Dethklok; Therion; Graveworm; Grave; Kataklysm; Melechesh; Stratovarius; Northern Kings; ...

There are a lot more, and that's only the metal!
Here is an equally incomplete list of some of my non-metal favourites, again, in no particular order:

Heather Alexander/Alexander James Adams; The Mamas and Papa's; Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young; Peter, Paul & Mary; Kansas; Led Zeppelin; Black Sabbath; Pink Floyd; El Debarge; Madonna (her older stuff, anyway); Simon & Garfunkel; Mortis; Run DMC; Fat Boys; Doug E. Fresh; Shania Twain; Garth Brooks; Randy Travis; DVDA; Bangles, Karen Carpenter; John Denver; Savage Garden; Gaia Consort; Allison Crowe; Enya; Loreena McKennitt; The Real McKenzies; The Wicked Tinkers; The Dropkick Murphys; Whitesnake; Bon Jovi; White Lion; Ravi Shankar; Robbie Robertson; David & Steve Gordon; Ice Cube; Beastie Boys; Jonathan Coulton; Two Nice Girls; Uncle Bonsai; Tim Minchin; They Might Be Giants; Bloodhound Gang; King Missle; Tism; The Whitlams; Crowded House; ...(more!)

And a TON more that I can't think of offhand or that are individual songs rather than the artist in general. I dig country, classical, opera, oldies, folk, old skool rap & R&B, celtic, native, and .. well.. pretty much everything other than most "alternative", grunge, gangsta rap and modern pop.

Latest Craft Project ~ 30" Paddle

Today's project is a 30 inch paddle. This one is pre-made. It's a mixing paddle for food service. You can get them at Cash & Carry for around $17. 

Here are both sides of the paddle after some sanding with 320, then 400 grit. There are definitely some possibilities I see in the grain!

 Next, I drilled a hole in the handle for a hanging cord, finished the sanding, and started staining the wood. 
I'm using two colours (purple and dark brown) of highly concentrated RIT dye for this, and applying with a combination of brush, cloth, and gloved hands to get the effect I want.

 It takes several applications and a lot of manipulating to achieve the look I'm going for and to really bring out the patterns in the wood as well.  In the next three photos, it's really starting to get there.

 

Next, it's time to apply the first coat of polyurethane...

While the coating dries, I'm working on the designs what will be part of the finished product. 
The jewel in the lotus with the chant, ཨོཾ་མ་ཎི་པདྨེ་ཧཱུྃ (Oṃ Maṇi Padme Hūṃ - roughly translated, "The jewel is in the lotus"), is something I designed for a tattoo that will go on my calf when I can afford it. This copy of it will go on one side of the main paddle part. 

The wolf will go on the other side of the side of the main paddle.
There is another, smaller, tribal wolf design that will be going up at the top of the handle on the lotus side. I haven't yet decided for certain whether I'm going to adorn the other side of the handle.

Here is the Lotus side with the first coat of polyurethane  over the paper bits.

I've just done the 2nd coat. Now I've got to eat some lunch and go to an appointment. I'll likely put one more coat on before I leave, so it can be drying whilst I'm away.

Update: 2030
 When I got back, I affixed the wolf graphic to the other side and did another polyurethane coat over it.

If it's dry, I'll apply another coat before bed.

Things I enjoy doing, things I'm good at, things I like to think about...

Things that I enjoy doing
I love photography (from both sides of the camera), and have been known to do some pretty crazy things in order to make that "perfect shot" happen.

I dig riding (horses and bikes - though I haven't done much of either since breaking my sacrum in 2010 - that will be changing soon, at least for the bikes, as I've recently bought my dream Harley and am relearning), camping, hot-tubbing, swimming, wandering around in the woods, hanging out with my dogs, hanging out with other people's dogs, hanging out with other animals, spending time with my grandkids, cooking, especially inventing new recipes and cooking for other people.

I feel some of the best pleasures in life are luxuriating in smoking fine cigars, drinking excellent, organic coffee, relaxing in a long, hot, scented bath, sensual touch, getting or giving a massage, being served (or, in very rare cases, serving), being pampered, and just sitting back and revelling in all that the universe has to offer.

I greatly enjoy good conversation. It doesn't have to be philosophical or mindbogglingly intelligent all the time to be good. Sometimes silly, juvenile, and just flat out ridiculous can be good!

I LOVE gaming! I always like being able to get smart people to play fun games with me.
Some current favourites are: Cards against Humanity, Fluxx (Monty Python, Zombie, Cthulhu, Pirate, Wizard of Oz) Gloom, Apples to Apples, Give me the Brain, We Didn't Playtest This At All, Kittens in a Blender, Poo, Nuts, Catchphrase, and other such things! (I have most of the aforementioned games.. Just need the players!)
 
I'm not into Facebook type games, WOW, or console games really. I DO love text based, online RPGs, but due to time constraints, limit myself to one. That one, currently, is Legend of the Green Dragon. My character is Moreta, FYI.

I am passionate about educating people in general about all manner of things, and especially subjects that are often misunderstood. I believe that the biggest key to combating the majority of the world's ills is education! I feel that most prejudice is a pretty direct result of ignorance and the spread of misinformation, whether it is about gender identity, sexual orientation, "alternative lifestyles", music, animals, breed specific legislation, addiction, mental illness, self harm, domestic violence, other cultures or anything else.

I love all animals and have been involved in animal rescue in one form or another for much of my teens and all of my adult life. I've worked with everything from mice and birds to wolves and snakes and all manner of creatures in between!
Our house has pretty much always been like a combination animal shelter and zoo, what with rescued and foster cats, dogs and assorted small wildlife critters.

I am active in local Sex Positive community and volunteer for several organizations. I run various events and I have presented workshops on various subjects from effective communication, to consensual slavery, oral sex (cocksucking and pussylicking.. YUM!) decorative scarification, blood play, knifeplay and mindfuck.

Things I'm good at
Singing, writing, web design, graphic design, making soap and other bath and body stuff, crafts, sales, parenting/grandparenting, staying calm and taking charge during crisis, working with animals, being a grammar/spelling/punctuation "Nazi", negotiation, stirring the pot, pushing buttons for fun.

Things I spend a lot of time thinking about
Music, the universe, alternate dimensions, different beliefs, spirituality, education, random things, pranks I can pull, word twisting, work, art, geek stuff.. Really, I think about just about anything.. I love to think.. I can entertain myself for hours on end just thinking about stuff.

My beliefs and spirituality

 

These are only a few of my beliefs, and I will be adding to this post in time.
 

I believe in living in accordance with nature, not trying to subvert or quash either the Earth/environment or my or others' natural tendencies in order to fit in with whatever happens to be the current societal standard.

I believe that there are very few truly "bad" people in the world and that the majority of people (and other beings) that commit harmful acts are doing so because they don't know how to do otherwise.
I am committed to doing all that I can to raise awareness and help as many as possible to learn to be beneficial members of the population.

That said, I am not so naive as to believe that those who present a danger to others should be allowed free reign to cause harm just because they don't know any better. Sometimes, the herd must be culled.

I believe in taking personal responsibility for all my thoughts, words, choices, actions, or lack of action, and feel that the world would be a better place if everyone else took responsibility for their own actions too.

I practise spirituality, rather than any particular religion.
   

Over the years, I have explored many different organized religions, atheism and a couple of cults. What I finally discovered is that there is no one "right" path, but that everyone has a specific path that is right for them. What's more, a person's path can contain spirituality, wisdom and philosophy from any number of different sources, and that it is no less valid as a belief system than a specific religion. Since then, I have encountered numerous people who have spirituality, but do not subscribe to any set religion, many of whom have mentored me in my spiritual path.

It is my firm belief that any and ALL religions, belief systems, spiritual, and philosophical paths can simultaneously be correct, and that none are intrinsically wrong or right, by themselves. They simply are.

I believe in the concept that GOD (Defined however a person wishes to define God(s)/Goddess(es)/Higher Power/Creative Forces/Cosmos/etc) is everything and everything is GOD, and that the Multiverse is vast enough to encompass all, without conflict. I believe that the seeming disparities between differing paths and beliefs are human made, due to our own limited understanding, but that the Divine surpasses all such differences, rendering them insignificant in the bigger picture.

In fact, the ONLY religious or belief concepts I reject are those based in hatred, bigotry, or intolerance of others, or the idea that any culture, beliefs, gender, identity, creed, consensual expressions of love or joy, skin colour, physicality, or anything else that is not actually causing objective harm to anyone is inherently inferior, superior, wrong, "sinful", or "bad".
If a person believes something is a sin, or wrong to do, they they should not do that thing, so as to follow their own belief, but should not presume to dictate what is wrong or sin for others.
Those things are a personal matter between each person and their own Higher Power(s). 

My own spiritual path is very eclectic, encompassing many elements from my Scottish/Norse, Irish and Cherokee heritage, as well as traditions, beliefs and practices from other North American tribes and various Eastern philosophies.

 

I strive to live in a manner which embraces Mindfulness, rigorous Honesty, Acceptance, Balance, Kindness, Compassion, and Truth, seeks to do that which is right and good, and to maintain conscious contact, through prayer, contemplation, and meditation, with GOD in all things. At any given time, GOD may express itself to me or be called upon, invoked, worshipped, prayed to, or understood in various forms, concepts, deities, etc, but for me, it all boils down to the same, innate, God Consciousness, of which everything is a part. God is All. I am God. God is I. You are God. God is You. We are God. God is Us. All is God.

I am

We Are 

God Is.

What does it mean when I say I am poly?

I can be part of one or more long term, committed relationships, with one or more different people in each of those relationships.


I don't believe that love or affection are finite resources.
I find that the more I embrace sharing the love (and no, I am not referring to sex here), the more I appreciate all of those interconnected relationships.

Being poly is not the same (for me) as being a swinger, a player, or being free to "get some on the side", nor does it mean I'm "getting all the pussy/cock", or that I am "DTF" all and sundry, as many seem to assume.

While the agreements I have do allow for casual sexual encounters, that's really not my thing, and not something I seek.

That doesn't mean they never happen or that I am opposed to them, but honestly, I tend to require that there be some real form of spiritual, emotional and/or intellectual connection in addition to simple physical/chemical attraction in order to be sexually attracted to and turned on by someone.

I'm not interested in "hookups". I'm on dating, kink, chat, and social networking sites mainly to engage in discussions that I find interesting. I also use them for socialising with friends or arranging play time or hanging out, but those things come AFTER common ground and connection/friendship is established, not before.