Friday 25 December 2020

Gassed Christmas (Last Christmas Parody)

Last Christmas had a case of the farts
The previous day, it was Taco Tuesday.
This year, to quell all your fears,
I ordered some Beano special!

Last Christmas there were beans in my cart
By the very next day you all moved away (you all moved away)
This year, if you will come near
Maybe my gas won't be fatal (fatal)

It was so bad you cried
Even from distance, there were tears in your eyes
I'm sorry baby, I just sanitized me.
It's been a year, and the house is still stinky.

"Merry Christmas" I wrapped it up and sent it
A candle saying "I love you", deuce scented
Now you know what a prankster I've been
But if I tried it now, could I fool you again?

Last Christmas I cleared a Walmart
When I let one rip it was just like D-Day (just like D-Day)
This year, since they banned me from there
I'll go with a Blue Light Special

Last Christmas I ruined the tarts
My explosive wind breaking blew them away
This year, I'm hoping my rear
Will be a little less shameful (shameful)

Oh, oh, baby

A crowded room, friends with watering eyes
They're hiding from me - I hope no one dies.
My God, I thought maybe I could eat Thai food
Gee, I guess it was a flatulence prelude.

A face on a lover at the moment he farts
I was under the covers when he let out a shart
Ooh, ooh, now I think I need gloves
Please never do that again

Last Christmas we all had the farts
But I told you that day that we would all pay (that we would all pay)
That beer, we drank under the pier
Was brewed up with something hateful (hateful)

Gassed Christmas, it was off of the charts
It took seventy days to bring it to bay!
It's clear, to save us from tears
To fibre we must be faithful

I looked at my lover with wise words to impart (I gave you mine)
Don't eat the cabbage if you wanna be smart
Maybe next year we'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special
So long...

©Khaos WolfKat 2020

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