My beliefs and spirituality

 

These are only a few of my beliefs, and I will be adding to this post in time.
 

I believe in living in accordance with nature, not trying to subvert or quash either the Earth/environment or my or others' natural tendencies in order to fit in with whatever happens to be the current societal standard.

I believe that there are very few truly "bad" people in the world and that the majority of people (and other beings) that commit harmful acts are doing so because they don't know how to do otherwise.
I am committed to doing all that I can to raise awareness and help as many as possible to learn to be beneficial members of the population.

That said, I am not so naive as to believe that those who present a danger to others should be allowed free reign to cause harm just because they don't know any better. Sometimes, the herd must be culled.

I believe in taking personal responsibility for all my thoughts, words, choices, actions, or lack of action, and feel that the world would be a better place if everyone else took responsibility for their own actions too.

I practise spirituality, rather than any particular religion.
   

Over the years, I have explored many different organized religions, atheism and a couple of cults. What I finally discovered is that there is no one "right" path, but that everyone has a specific path that is right for them. What's more, a person's path can contain spirituality, wisdom and philosophy from any number of different sources, and that it is no less valid as a belief system than a specific religion. Since then, I have encountered numerous people who have spirituality, but do not subscribe to any set religion, many of whom have mentored me in my spiritual path.

It is my firm belief that any and ALL religions, belief systems, spiritual, and philosophical paths can simultaneously be correct, and that none are intrinsically wrong or right, by themselves. They simply are.

I believe in the concept that GOD (Defined however a person wishes to define God(s)/Goddess(es)/Higher Power/Creative Forces/Cosmos/etc) is everything and everything is GOD, and that the Multiverse is vast enough to encompass all, without conflict. I believe that the seeming disparities between differing paths and beliefs are human made, due to our own limited understanding, but that the Divine surpasses all such differences, rendering them insignificant in the bigger picture.

In fact, the ONLY religious or belief concepts I reject are those based in hatred, bigotry, or intolerance of others, or the idea that any culture, beliefs, gender, identity, creed, consensual expressions of love or joy, skin colour, physicality, or anything else that is not actually causing objective harm to anyone is inherently inferior, superior, wrong, "sinful", or "bad".
If a person believes something is a sin, or wrong to do, they they should not do that thing, so as to follow their own belief, but should not presume to dictate what is wrong or sin for others.
Those things are a personal matter between each person and their own Higher Power(s). 

My own spiritual path is very eclectic, encompassing many elements from my Scottish/Norse, Irish and Cherokee heritage, as well as traditions, beliefs and practices from other North American tribes and various Eastern philosophies.

 

I strive to live in a manner which embraces Mindfulness, rigorous Honesty, Acceptance, Balance, Kindness, Compassion, and Truth, seeks to do that which is right and good, and to maintain conscious contact, through prayer, contemplation, and meditation, with GOD in all things. At any given time, GOD may express itself to me or be called upon, invoked, worshipped, prayed to, or understood in various forms, concepts, deities, etc, but for me, it all boils down to the same, innate, God Consciousness, of which everything is a part. God is All. I am God. God is I. You are God. God is You. We are God. God is Us. All is God.

I am

We Are 

God Is.

What does it mean when I say I am poly?

I can be part of one or more long term, committed relationships, with one or more different people in each of those relationships.


I don't believe that love or affection are finite resources.
I find that the more I embrace sharing the love (and no, I am not referring to sex here), the more I appreciate all of those interconnected relationships.

Being poly is not the same (for me) as being a swinger, a player, or being free to "get some on the side", nor does it mean I'm "getting all the pussy/cock", or that I am "DTF" all and sundry, as many seem to assume.

While the agreements I have do allow for casual sexual encounters, that's really not my thing, and not something I seek.

That doesn't mean they never happen or that I am opposed to them, but honestly, I tend to require that there be some real form of spiritual, emotional and/or intellectual connection in addition to simple physical/chemical attraction in order to be sexually attracted to and turned on by someone.

I'm not interested in "hookups". I'm on dating, kink, chat, and social networking sites mainly to engage in discussions that I find interesting. I also use them for socialising with friends or arranging play time or hanging out, but those things come AFTER common ground and connection/friendship is established, not before.

My kinks

I have a lot of kinks and I've got a lot of experience in most of them.
Unless otherwise noted, I have the toys and tools for everything listed.
I'm a switch, so I've included things I like to do to people and things I like having done to me.

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If there is something you are interested in doing with me that you don't see listed here or on my limits list, and we have already discussed playing (do not just message me randomly asking for play!! This is very clear in all my profiles, everywhere!), ask me about it. I may be interested and/or have forgotten to list it here.

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   As a bottom:

I REALLY enjoy thuddy floggers, sensual caning, claws/knives/other sharp implements, electricity on more massage-y like settings (as opposed to sharp, owie settings. My favourite violet wand attachment is the really big globe. YUMMY!), fireplay, sensual touch, gentle biting, hair pulling (but only if you know how to do it right!) D/s (with the right person. More on that here), fear/terror play, mindfuck.

I like bondage, and having pretty things done to me with rope/chain/etc.

I am interested in exploring suspension, although I am TERRIFIED of it (phobia of heights, and my brain does not differentiate between a 6 inch drop and and a 100 foot drop. If my feet cannot touch ground, it's all the same!) It will take someone with a lot of patience and ability to guide me well to help me with this.

I am NOT a masochist!! Seriously. Not at all! I have a theory about pain... It fucking hurts and I don't fucking like it!!.
There are lots of forms of sensation, even extreme sensation which I enjoy. Others may register many of them as pain, but I do not. So, again, I do NOT like pain. If I register it as pain, I don't like it.
I don't typically like stingy things, singletails, or needles, though sometimes I crave them anyway.

Sometimes need things that I find painful or that I dislike, because it is cathartic for me, and/or I enjoy the endorphin high from them.
I'm afraid of and triggered (PTSD) by face slapping. It's something that would need to be approached VERY carefully, with the ability to fix me if I break.

I really don't like humiliation or degradation at all. No catharsis, no endorphin rush, nothing good. It's the sort of thing best reserved only for punishment.

There are a lot more things that I can enjoy doing as a service to someone within a D/s dynamic, even though I don't necessarily like the activities themselves. More on that here.

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  As a top:

I LOVE and am experienced with
Knifeplay, bloodplay, needles, cuttings, decorative scarification, fear/terror play, mindfuck, choking, breath control, hair pulling, biting, D/s, bondage (police style cuffs and manacles, leather/rubber wrist & ankle cuffs, chains, locks, rope - decorative and utilitarian, predicament bondage, and more!), fisting (vaginal), breast/nipple teasing/torture, pussy teasing/torture, punching, being served, high protocol, slave training (positions, protocol, paces, etc), foot service (see this post for what that means for me), slicing/ripping clothes off, taking trophies (blood vials, panties, shredded/bloodied clothing, a lock of hair, ...??...) .

I enjoy and am experienced with
Electricity (TENS/Violet wands/electric flyswatter, shock collars), flogging, bloodplay, Hot Ash/Cigar play, forced smoking, cellpopping/microbranding, caning (sensual and otherwise), CBT, clamps, clothes pins, spanking, paddles, other thuddy and stingy impact toys (I have LOTS!!), rape scenes, take downs, kicking, being the villain.

I am interested in or like, but not/not very experienced with

• Singletails (I can hit my target reliably with my 4' baby bull whips. Anything else I still need to learn.)
• Suspension (No experience, but want to learn and will need test subjects)
• Advanced ropework (I know some basic ties and can make some pretty harnesses, but want to learn more)

 
Other
I am not into anal play at all. For a VERY few close friends/partners, I am willing to help with experimentation, such as inserting plugs and such, but for the most part, that's gonna be a no.
I'm not really big on humiliation/degradation, but am willing to discuss the possibility, to a degree, if it will really benefit the scene or if it is part of a specific role play scenario.

Pseudo-Kilt Update

I'm about 10 hours into the project at this point.

The ironing as I pleat method turned out a much nicer finished product, and I think it took less time over all. 

  I punched the holes into the leather for the center apron piece to make it easier to sew on.

 Here are a couple photos with the back pleated sections pinned on. I'll probably sew those today sometime, after I finish the apron.

 

 Here, I'm fiddling around with ideas for attaching the straps and buckles (Goodwill belts - $3.99 each for good quality leather belts, rather than about the same price plus shipping for ordinary kilt straps. Another score!)

 I think I'm going to go with this belt (most of it, anyway) across the back, covering the tops of where the pleats are sewn on.

 Here, you can see the back of the "kilt" with the Tartan folded around the sides, so it shows how it will look (other than the pins and rough edges, that is) from the back when done.

There's no real point to this photo, other than I thought it looked nice when I folded it up to put away  for the night (morning). 

 I did a little more sewing on the apron when I got up. Then I got smart and decided I REALLY needed coffee first! I also glued the leather to the shorts base along the top area, to provide a little more stability.
It occurred to me just a bit ago that this is going to be a challenge to wash. I'm going to throw a piece of the leather from the jacket I used in the next cold load I do and see how it holds up. Several places sell leather and cloth "kilts", so I know there has to be a way to wash it reasonably. We'll see how it goes.

Now, more coffee, and then back to sewing!

I'm making a pseudo-kilt

I decided that I was going to make my OWN "pseudo-kilt", in exactly the design I want, rather than pay $300 or so to buy one that's all customised and stuff. I just sort of had the epiphany the other day, and the idea grew and took form over the last couple days. I was going to start with a pair of jeans shorts, but then decided I wanted to use cargo shorts (black) for the base instead. This is a LOT easier than trying to create the waist band and actual, functional (read, have to function correctly!) buckles and such, I believe.
Of course, I have never made a kilt before, and don't know how to use a sewing machine, so I don't expect it to be a $300 garment, but I DO think it's going to be pretty cool!

I'm sitting and taking a break right now, after having worked on it for the last 4 hours, so I figured I'd post a few pictures of what I've done so far.

I ended up finding a pair of shorts on clearance for $15 from Lane Bryant. They aren't cargo shorts, but they are actually perfect for my needs, as it turns out, and I have a pair of cargo shorts that a partner was going to throw out that I'm going to cannibalise for pockets and other "spare parts".

I forgot to take a picture of the "base" shorts before I started cutting, but they're just basic shorts.

Here are the shorts after I cut the crotch out and cut it short.. so basically, it's a VERY short skirt at this point. I'll be sewing the kilty bits to this base, which will provide the basic structure.

I also forgot to take pics of the leather jacket that I'm cutting up for the apron and perhaps some other parts, but believe me when I say that, as a jacket, it was FUGLY!! I got it used for 99 cents, which was still too much for the jacket, but a helluva deal for that much usable leather!

This piece will be the mid-section of the apron.

 These are the bits that will overlap with the middle part of the apron. I have a sort of idea on how I'm going to make that work with the pockets, but haven't solidified that plan just yet.

 For the majority of the back, I just wanted black fabric. The cheapest, thin, crappy ass fabric that I can get runs around $5/yard, so for 4-5 yards, that's getting pretty pricey, for dirt poor me, so I went to the Goodwill right by my house and bought two nice, black, flat sheets for $3.99 each. SCORE!!

I cut two pieces (one at each side, so I have a hemmed edge for each piece.. Even more reason to use sheets instead of regular fabric!)  off one of them, but not sure if I'm going to need both of them yet. We'll see after I finish pleating all the Tartan for the side-ish panels.

Here, I've started pleating the first piece. It's time consuming, but the pleats are looking better than I expected on my first try with pleating anything like this.

  Here is the first section fully pleated, with the top of the pleats sewn down. As you can see, it's about 1/4 of the original width, if that! Later, I'll sew the pleats a bit further down too.

I then located the iron - I knew there was one in this house somewhere, 'cause I've seen my house mate's slave ironing things - and ironed the pleated section, to get the pleats nice and set in there properly.

 

 Next, it was time to drag out my hunk of Tartan and iron it. It was a disaster, and I really don't iron, so it took a while, but I finally got it all smooth and creased where I wanted to cut it. 

 And then on to pleating the Tartan. It is a LOT more attention to detail requiring, since I have to line up the plaid correctly.

Here's the first Tartan piece pleated, ironed, and partly stitched down.

 Here is the black sheet section all nice and ironed.

 Apron centre piece pinned to the base.

 And the rest of the apron pinned on...

 Here's the belt sitting in place (mostly) to get an idea of how it will look.

  I decided to iron as I go for the pleating on the second Tartan piece, and it seems to be working better.  It's turning out a LOT neater. I'm  not going back and redoing the other one. It's fine, and I am relatively certain that the finished product will not be noticeably different because of it, but I am definitely happier with how the 2nd piece is coming along and wish I'd thought of doing it this way sooner.

OK. Off to pleat some more! Sleep is for pussies! (And I plan on being a total pussy after my 1050 appointment this morning!)

What's in my Go bag (AKA Bugout Bag/BOB)? - OLD VERSION

Update - 2014 October 15:

While my Go bag is constantly in a state of renewal, rotation, and updating, I've recently been making some pretty major changes/updates to my setup, as I embrace more of the items that technological advances have made possible over the years. Rather than change this post, I'm leaving it here and will be making a new post with photos and additional information sometime in the near future, so I can start to keep a record of how my gear changes over time.

Green Backpack (Go Bag)

Main Compartment

• LS Flannel shirt
• XL sarong
• Reg sarong
• Deer hide
• Green wrap fabric (works as shemagh/carrying bundle/dress+++)
• scarf
• Camp “towel”
• Washcloth
• Swim suit/Trunks
• Shower curtain/ground cover
• 8 oz drinking water, sealed
• Sm. Ikea bag (heavy duty plastic carrying bag made of tarp material)

In Space bag

• Hosp robe
• 5' red “silk” strip (
• 1 bandanna
• 1 pr fuzzy socks
• 2 pr boot socks
• 1 thermal undershirt
• 1 pr thermal bottoms
• 1 pr jeans
• 1 t-shirt
• 1 sleeveless shirt
• 1 pr black sweats
• 1 pr boxers
• 1 long sleep shirt
• 1 bar soap

Top Compartment

• This list
• Feminine hygiene (pads/tampons/etc)
• Condoms
• TP

Middle Compartment

• mini Big Book (AA basic text)
• mini dictionary/thesaurus
• Pens
• 2 Extension cords

Lower Compartment

• Candles
• 1 pair boot laces
• Luna bars
• Crank flashlight/radio
• Survival Knife
• Flint/magnesium block
• sharpening stone
• Lighters
•  duct tape
• Sharpie
• rope
• Filtering straw

Left Side Pocket

• Toothbrushes
• Toothpaste
• wet wipes
• Lotion
• Comb
• Shoe brush
• Misc toiletries
• metal cup
• insta light charcoal tabs
• aluminium foil

 
Right Side Pocket

• First Aid Supplies
• Mylar blanket
• nitrile gloves
• bandages
• gauze
• super glue
• epi pen
• athletic tape
• EMT shears
• Ricola
• Antibiotic ointment

Attached

• Combat Boots
• carabiners
• cartridge belt w/canteen, extra ammo, IFAK, snake bite kit, spare pouches

Review - Perdomo Slow-Aged No. 826 Glorioso Maduro - toro (2/10)

According to the Cigars International page, 

"This complex blend results in a deliciously smooth, robust and vivacious flavor with creaminess and coffee-like notes".

They usually don't steer me wrong, but this time, unfortunately, they did in a big way.

The smoke DID light well - Nice and even, and burned and ashed nicely too, but that's about all the good stuff I can say about it.

It started out almost straight pepper! Now, I like strong and spicy cigars, but too many cigar manufacturers seem to think that "ton of pepper, all by itself" = "spicy". Not so, people!!  There are more spices on the rack; Or, at least, there ought to be.

As I had hoped, the full on pepper soon toned down several notches. Sadly, that's all that happened. It just became a decent, but pretty bland, strong cigar, and only that until a little over halfway through, when it just started to taste bad and I had to abandon it.

 No complexities, none of the promised flavours, no creaminess. I guess it was smooth, if, by "smooth", we mean blah. It wasn't harsh after the first 5 minutes or so, at least. 

All in all, rather a disappointment and I won't be buying more of these! Luckily, it was in a sampler, so there was only one of them. I really expected more from Perdomo!

2/10, I'm afraid.

Oh well. That's what samplers are for... To sample. I'll hope for better luck next time.