Ode to HNGs ~ by Dr Sluice (AKA Me)

 Dedicated to all the internet creeps who inspired this!


Hello Mistress I U slave,
Beat me now make me behave.
U so pretty tie me up now!
Y U no like? You a fat cow!

Fapping, fapping, what a sleaze,
Tightie whities round your knees
I do not want to chat with you,
Or see your Cheeto dusted goo!

What you mean I not your type?
I want you now; What's your Skype?
Can't you see you make my dick hard?
Don't you make me play the race card!

You a lesbo? what you mean?
I fix with my magic peen.
What you need's a good hard fuckin'
No, that's got me near upchucking!

Then I be ur dominate
No, that's something that I'd hate
If you won't kneel and suck my dick,
It prove you really not a chick.

Call me Master, I insist
Are you ready for my fist?
I do not want to be your pet
That really doesn't make me wet.

In the trunk with you my slut
Then my dog will lick your butt.
I do not want sex with your collie
that isn't what I meant by poly!

Come massage me in my room
Does the rubbing come with poon?
I'm only joking, can't you see?
But will you break the law for me?

Can't you read, you douchcanoe?
All my rules, they mean you too!
I'll not give you happy ending
Your wall of text, it is mind bending!

Open marriage, gee that's swell;
Mine is too, but don't you tell.
Let's be discreet, I think you're hot
I'm poly but my wife is not.

Cheating, I will not assist,
Or meet with you for a tryst!
Philandering is not my kink
I think you need to see a shrink.

Even though I mailed you first
Your reply my bubble burst.
So since you didn't want to play
I didn't want you anyway!

U R Beauty and my dear
I paste this to all girls here
Maybe if I send to many
I will stop not getting any.

Copypasta turns me off
And you clearly live in sloth.
Mummy's basement's not a dungeon.
Your lines leave me in high dudgeon.

© 2012 Khaos WolfKat