Monday, 24 August 2020

I'd Do Anything for rubs (Cause I'm not a cat) (Meat Loaf Parody)


And I would do anything for rubs
I'd roll right over on my back
I would do anything for rubs
My tummy needs some rubbin' that's a fact
But I'll beg and I'll whine to get those belly rubs
And I've, no pride
And I would do anything for rubs
Cause, I'm not a cat
No I'm not a cat

Anything for rubs
Oh I would do anything for rubs
And I would do anything for rubs
Cause, I'm not the cat
No I'm not the cat

Some days you don't give me treats
Some days we play real hard
Some days you don't throw my ball
And these are the days that never end
Some nights we're playing tug
Some nights I'm on your lap
Sometimes I'm like nothing you've ever seen before or will again

Maybe I'm crazy
Oh but crazy dogs are cool
I know you can pet me
Anyone can scratch my ears or butt
As long as the kibble is yummy
As long as you rub my tummy
As long as you do I'm a happy mutt
You better believe it

That I would do anything for rubs
I'll keep begging even if I'm smacked
And I would do anything for rubs
I don't need pride or any tact
I'll even demean myself if you will only rub
My tum
And I would do anything for rubs
Oh, I would do anything for rubs
Oh, I would do anything for rubs
Cause I'm not a cat
No, I'm not a cat

I would do anything for rubs
I'll be the dog your dreaming of
Because I'm not a cat
The kitty has some dignity
She won't debase herself like me
But I'm just not a cat
I would do anything for rubs
Or bacon I've been dreaming of
Because I'm not a cat

And some days I chase the birdies
And some days I dig a hole
Some days I just pray to the God
Of belly rubs and licking bowls
And some nights I want to cuddle
And some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all
When you throw my ball and I watch it roll

And when I get lonely
I'm just a giant crybaby
There's just one and only
One and only way that I can sleep
As long as I get my snuggles
And you tell me I'm not in trouble
As long as the kitty leaves me alone
You better believe it

That I would do anything for rubs
And you know I'll even take a bath
I would do anything for rubs
And I'll even bring your slippers back
But I'll never catch the birdies because they fly away
Away, away.
Yes I would do anything for rubs
Oh, I would do anything for rubs
I would do anything for rubs
Cause I'm not a cat
No no no, I'm not a cat

I would do anything for rubs
I'll even give the cat some love
Even if she is a cat
I would do anything for rubs
I might stop running through the shrubs
OK I won't do that
I would do anything for rubs
It's all that I've been dreaming of
Except those meanie rats
I would do anything for rubs
I will jump right into the tub
Because I'm not a cat
I would do anything for rubs
I swear I won't pee on the rug
Or in your shoe like the cat
I would do anything for rubs
I'll even give up half my grub
Oh I'd really do that
I would do anything for rubs
I will stop chasing after bugs
Well except the gnats

And I'll never stop cuddling with you every night of my life
No way
And I would do anything for rubs
Oh, I would do anything for rubs
Oh, I would do anything for rubs 
Cause I'm not a cat
No, I'm not a cat

[Call (and Response)]
Will you pick me up?
Will you rub me down?
Will you still love me when I keep jumpin' around?
Will you kiss me when my nose is cold?
(I can do that
Oh, I can do that)
Will you hold my leash and
Will you hug me tight
Will you scratch my ears
And when I get all excite
Forgive me when I'm a little too bold?
(I can do that
Oh no now, I can do that)

Will you feed me some cookies with your own two hands?
Even though I don't go poop in a box full of sand?
You know that box really stinks up your home?
(Yes, I do know that
Ooh Yes, I do know that)
Will you toss me every slobbery toy that I got?
Or buy me a little wading pool if I get too hot?
Will you brush my fur and give me a bone?
(If you're nice to the cat
And you don't chase the rats)
When I eat a bee and then get a sting
I'm too dumb to understand why this is happening
I thought it was a toy you had thrown
(Cause you know that
I'm not smart like cat)
I mark my territory, by peein' on the ground
And I roll in the dust til my white fur's brown
Then I'm chasin' my tail around and around
(Not like the cat
She doesn't do that)

Anything for rubs
Oh, I would do anything for rubs
I would do anything for rubs
Cause I'm not a cat
No, I'm not a cat


©Khaos WolfKat 2020

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