Wilderness camping pro tips!

These are a few "helpful hints", culled from years of experience going camping with people who don't go camping, and presented in snippets of actual conversation. 

• You only need boots and sandals/water shoes. What are you going to do with one ENTIRE suitcase dedicated to shoes? IN THE WILDERNESS!!??

•  No, there is nowhere to plug in your curling iron. Why the hell did you bring a curling iron camping!? You brought your hair dryer too!? Seriously? Nevermind, I need more coffee!

• Of course the ranger got annoyed with you when you actually WHINED to him that you NEEDED a place to plug in your curling iron and hair dryer, and he should let you use the ranger station. And yes, you are extremely lucky I didn't disavow any knowledge of who you were right then and there!

• No, you can't pop microwave popcorn by holding it on the pigsticker over the fire.

• No, the ranger station doesn't have a microwave you can use.

• No, we can't get a propane powered microwave.

• No, you can't run a microwave, hair dryer, curling iron, or any of that other crap from my car battery!

• No, I am not going to try and figure out how to cook your Lean Pockets. I told you not to bring anything that couldn't be cooked in the woods with no electricity. What part of NO ELECTRICITY did you not understand?

• We TOLD you it was going to be VERY cold and you needed a layers, warm clothes, boots, and a sleeping bag rated for 0° at least. The $20 sleeping bag from Fred Meyer, that says it is rated for 40° WILL NOT CUT IT. Sweats and a sweatshirt with a light jacket are NOT "warm clothes" unless they are layered with other clothes, and your "cute outfits" and 5 pair of open toe shoes are useless.

• No, I'm not cutting my trip (that cost lots me of money to put together and drive for) short to take you back to civilisation because you didn't follow my instructions. We'll make a trip into the nearest town in 5 more days for supplies and you can buy something. You'll have to make do until then.

•  DO NOT waste my propane trying to warm your hands over the damn burner! Put on gloves. If you're still too cold, go gather and cut more wood and I'll build up the fire. I'm not cold, so I'm not cutting more wood. Cutting wood will warm you up.

• No matter HOW many times you check to see if your phone has signal, it is STILL 10+ miles to the closest hope of cell range. 

• Your tent is not "defective" and it doesn't "have a leak". I told you to stake it out tightly and keep everything away from the walls. No, you're not sleeping in my tent. Next time, follow directions. (this has got to be the #1 "conversation" I have with people when camping!)

• We're 6,000 feet up Mt Rainier in November. Of course it's cold. What the hell did you expect!? Quit your whining and keep up.

•  Yes, I'm very serious. You REALLY do have to stomp around and around all over that space in the snow to make a tent platform. 

• I TOLD you you needed to make a tent platform. No, you can't use my "extra" (dry clothing/sleeping bag liner/other dry things) and you're not sleeping in my tent. Get out there, stomp out your platform, stake out your tent properly, and build up the fire to dry your own gear. I'm going back to sleep. 

• No, you don't need the 967 lumens lantern just to go to the BIFFY (that's the outhouse/pit toilet/latrine, for the uninitiated)! Use your flashlight. What do you mean your phone is dead? What does that have to do with anything? WHAT? I told you to bring a FLASHLIGHT! That did not mean rely on your cell phone, which requires plugging in to recharge.

This is only a very small sampling, and, sadly, I didn't make ANY of it up! I'll add to it as I remember/collect more snippets. 

Do feel free to add your own experiences in the comments!

How (not!!) to pack for a camping trip

Despite the title, this helpful post will also provide plenty of information on how to pack for camping in addition to how not to. 

This is for going camping for the sake of camping. It doesn't necessarily apply to events where there will be camping, as a means of lodging. 

Kink events, Highland Games & Faires, Renaissance Fairs, SCA type events, and anything else where garb, costuming, or other fancy getups are the norm get a pass on cute shoes and wardrobe insanity.

Now then...

First off,  clothing...       

Whether you're going camping for a weekend, a week, or a month or more, you never need to bring any more than: 

• 1 pair of socks per day, plus 2 (max 16 - you can hand wash beyond that)
• 1 pair of underwear per day, plus 2 (again, max 16 - hand wash)
• 2 bras for those who need them
• 2, (maybe 3 if it's going to be 2 or more weeks) pair of jeans/BDUs/other durable long pants
• 2 pair of sweats
• 2 sets of long underwear
• 2-3 t-shirts
• 2 tank tops
• 2 long sleeve shirts (a LS T-shirt and a flannel shirt are great for layering)
• 2 pair of shorts (sturdy, comfortable ones with pockets, not "cute" ones!)
• 1 sweatshirt or light jacket that can be worn under heavier jacket
• 1 heavy jacket and/or cloak (cloaks are great! they double as blankets, pillows, carrying sacks, etc)
• 1 pair swim trunks or swimsuit
• 1 pair sturdy, waterproof/resistant boots, suitable for hiking. (combat boots are good all-purpose boots)
• 1 pair sturdy sandals or mesh shoes
• 1 pair sneakers (if you must)

If all your clothing you plan to bring (other than shoes and jackets) won't fit in one large duffel bag, you need to leave some at home. Small children who aren't fully toilet trained can (and should) get away with double the above amounts of everyday clothing.

 You should also bring:

• A GOOD flashlight. (NO, the one on your phone doesn't count!!)
• Spare batteries & at least one spare bulb. (most good flashlights have a space to store an extra bulb in the body)
• insect repellent
• SUNSCREEN!! (SPF 40 or above advised)
• After sun care (plain old aloe or a product specially designed for it like this one)
• a tarp and/or tent (even if someone else is bringing tents, bring a tarp!)
• a sleeping bag rated for at LEAST 10 degrees colder than it is expected to get where you will be
• enough of ALL your regular medications for the length of time you expect to be gone, plus 1 week's worth. 
• A towel
• Personal toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, comb, brush, hair ties, unscented lotion, unscented or camping soap, etc)
• A good hunting, diving, or survival knife. More than one is better. 
• a knife sharpener - I particularly like the Smith's PP1 Pocket Pal. 
• A para-tool. I prefer S.O.G. but any high end one is good.2 is better than one
• Flint and magnesium fire starter. (strike with a steel knife blade)

This is by NO means a complete list, but those are a few basics that you should never go camping without, even if other people are bringing  "all the supplies".  Personally, I keep all of those things in my go-bag and vehicle at all times, and advise you to as well, but that's a different article.

You should absolutely, positively, never, ever, fucking EVER (femes, I'm looking at YOU here!) bring :

• High heels of any sort. The only thing they are good for when camping is getting ruined and breaking your ankle (or worse!). 
• "Cute outfits", unless they are sturdy, functional, and you don't care if they get trashed.
• "Cute shoes", unless they are  one of the kinds of shoes mentioned in the "bring" list.
• Jewellery or similar accessories (the stuff you always wear, even when you sleep and bathe is an exception) 
• Perfume, cologne, aftershave (witch hazel works great if you must shave), pretty scented lotions or other body products. (Exceptions: lavender, cedar, rosemary, citronella, catnip, mint, & any other scents known to repel insects)
• Hairspray, gel, or any other sticky, bug attracting hair products. (bees & wasps LOVE hairspray! Just sayin'.)
• Your makeup kit. If you must bring something, keep it simple. If it won't all fit in a 1 quart ziplock bag, it's too much!
• Any food or drink that requires a microwave. You won't have one and the bears won't let you use theirs.
• Curling, crimping, or straightening irons. (REALLY!?? WTF were you thinking!?)
• Hair dryers
• ANY other kind of electricity using hair styling device. 
• Your computer (dirt is bad for your computer, there's probably no cell/wifi signal, and you don't need it in the wilderness anyway!)

You are going out to the middle of nowhere to sleep in a tent or under the stars (this is camping, not RVing!). You will be tramping about outdoors for at least most, if not all of the time. There is dirt outside. LOTS of dirt!

There will most likely be a campfire, which produces smoke and soot.  Soot is a lot like dirt, only more persistent. 

This means that whatever clothing you put on at the beginning of the day is going to be dirty - probably even filthy - within a couple hours at the most. Just accept this. Breathe. Embrace the dirty. BE the dirty. Seriously. Just deal with it. If you can't handle getting dirty and wearing dirty clothes, stay home or do hotel vacations.

It's not a fashion show. Even if you're hoping to meet the man/woman of your dreams out there, s/he is camping too.  If they're not an idiot or an asshole, they won't be looking or expecting you to look like you're ready to hit the dance floor. If they're real, they'll appreciate that you share a love of the outdoors and are sensible. If they're phony, eeww! Best to weed them out early!

The people you're going camping with presumably already know what you look like sans beauty routine. If they don't, it's a great way to bond. Again, they're camping too. You'll all be dirty, bedraggled, fuzzy, frizzy, and such after the first day or so. It's not a big deal. 

The ones most likely to appreciate the froufrou smelly stuff out there are more interested in stinging, biting, and sucking your blood in a very non-consensual way. Also, your fellow campers will NOT appreciate you attracting bees, wasps, and other unpleasant things.

I may add to this post as more comes to me. Suggestions for additions welcome. 

I plan on posting more camping hints in future. Topic suggestions or requests also welcome and encouraged.

Redundancy - why is it important?

Happy Solstice everyone! I hope the summer is gearing up for good times and lots of opportunities to test your gear out in the wild. 


I catch a lot of flack from people about having umpteen different kinds of water filters and purifiers, fire starting methods, flashlights, power sources, knives, other weapons, first aid supplies, and various other duplicated and/or overlapping gear, and for having "kits' at several different locations where I am likely to be, as well as having what many think is a ridiculous amount of stuff that I keep with me all the time.

The thing is though, when the chips are down, if something fails, you most likely won't be able to just run to the store or wait for backup. You need to have backup already in place, NOW, before some disaster happens. When the SHTF, whether you and your family make it through the night, the week, or the month depends on having stuff that works, where you can access it, the skills to use it, and a well practised plan. If it's cold and you're hungry, thirsty, tired, and there are predators about (and there WILL be at some point, whether of the human variety or otherwise), you need a fire, clean water, sustenance, and protection ASAP, and if one thing doesn't work, you need an immediate plan B, C, or D, that you already know how to use and can count on!

Not only that, but you can't count on the shit hitting the fan at a convenient time and place. You may not be able to get to your vehicle. You may be away from home...
 
The list goes on! The point is that you may not be able to access your main supplies, and should have supplies at least sufficient to get you home (or to where more stuff is securely stored) wherever you are.

Remember, Two is one and one is none!!

This really can't be stressed enough!

And don't make the mistake of thinking that being prepared is some kind of doom & gloom, apocalyptic scenario, crazy people living in a compound somewhere thing. It's not just nuclear meltdowns, terrorist attacks, catastrophic natural disasters, and the like you need to think about. It's things as simple as having your car break down in a deserted area with no cell signal, being stranded by inclement weather, a storm knocking your power out and/or a tree through your roof, or any number of things that are temporary and completely survivable, as long as you are prepared for them.

Playing with me - Things you should know

Since I get a lot of requests for play, and often, the same questions come up, I figured I'd post something informational, which explains a great deal about who I like to play with, how I like to play, and what people can expect from playing with me.
I'm a switch. That means I enjoy both topping and bottoming, serving and being served.
Don't let this confuse you though... I'm not an "equal opportunity" switch.
Different people bring out different sides of me. That's just the way it is.
I play with people of all gender identifications/non identifications, but the ways I play with male/female/other identifying people differ. No, this is not "fair". I play for my enjoyment and fulfilment, not as a public service for equality. Deal with it or go play with someone else.

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As a bottom:

I like to get worked over thoroughly from time to time, and have a list of things I love over here. If I'm bottoming, as opposed to submitting, It's going to be a lot more about what I want than what you want to do to me. Yes, I will cheerfully (well, mostly LOL) take a couple strikes, lashes, pokes, or whatever "for you", and we can negotiate things so we both get our needs/wants met. That's only fair, but I won't really be obedient or docile or any of that, most likely.

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As a submissive:

It takes a very specific sort of person to trigger my submissive side. Women rarely do, but it has been known to happen on occasion.
My submission can not be demanded. That just doesn't work. If you decide to go all "domly" on me without my having indicated any sort of deference to you or negotiating such a dynamic, and I'm in a charitable mood, I might just smile at you and shake my head. If not so charitable, I'll probably roll my eyes and possibly outright laugh at you.

Arrogance, entitlement, ego, and bravado are not things that engender my submission. Quiet strength, self mastery, and confidence are. I am dominant by nature and strong of will. A man who is more dominant (not domineering!) than I am, and it shows, without his feeling the need to prove anything, is what gets my attention and makes my knees buckle.

If you DO trip that trigger, you'll most likely know ... I will be fairly obvious in my demeanour. I will defer to you, I will often lower my gaze, perhaps sneaking eye contact, or boldly looking you in the eye before looking down in an almost shy manner. I will be of service to you in various ways, even if not actively "serving" you.

If we play, I will accept, and likely even request a D/s dynamic. I will take just about anything you dish out, (within my limits) whether it is something I enjoy for its own sake or not. My pain and/or suffering will be offered up to you as tribute, service, and devotion. I will be grateful for the things you do that I enjoy, and will do my best to earn them. I will obey (usually), and when I don't, I will accept punishment as gracefully as I can. Within this sort of dynamic, making clear the difference between punishment and "funishment" is vital, as I will be in a state of mind and spirit that makes being displeasing to the point of earning punishment truly devastating to me.

When I am fully in a submissive headspace, it's very complete.
I was a fully owned, rightless, Gorean slave for over seven years, and that training does not just go away!

This means that you are my guide during that time, and, in many ways, responsible for me. It is important to remember things like the fact that I will follow the last orders given. If you leave me kneeling and walk away without giving me leave to move about, I will most likely stay there until you give me permission to do otherwise. 
If I HAVE to move (to go to the bathroom, for instance), I will feel as though I have failed and will be genuinely distraught. If we are getting ready to play, and I am just standing or kneeling there (Well, sitting, more likely, these days. I'm too old and crippled to kneel or to stand more than a few minutes now) I am probably waiting to be commanded. If we haven't previously established some routine, then you will need to tell me to strip, to face the rack, etc. I will be cooperative when it is obvious what you want me to do. For instance, I will put my wrists out for binding and such, but if I am unsure, I will wait for orders. I will not be or play dumb, but I will be very pliable and seek your direction, so please ensure that you are ready for such a task before accepting my submission to you for any length of time, whether the length of a scene, a day, or other contractual period.

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As a top:

I will top most anyone who approaches me respectfully. I enjoy it. I will, on occasion, "service top", but if that is what you want, you have to be VERY clear about that up front. If you want a specific scene, tell me so, and we may be able to negotiate that.
Usually though, when I top, I dominate. I am in charge. I won't violate limits, and we will talk in depth about those, as well as potential triggers and such, because I want to make sure my subs/bottoms/slaves are taken care of!
If you tell me you want to serve me, or let me have my way with you, I will take you at your word. That means I will have MY way with you - not your way. Trying to manipulate me into "forcing" you to live out all your kinky fantasies under the guise of "serving" me will not go over well. At all. I am a sadist!!
This means that I enjoy hurting people, and will enjoy your suffering. Your tears please me. So do your screams and pleas for mercy.
Don't worry (too much), I also enjoy rewarding my bottoms with things they enjoy, and making them scream with pleasure as well as pain, and I will likely grill you thoroughly beforehand about your fantasies, likes, dislikes, fears, etc, so that I can fashion a scene geared to make the most of those things for our mutual benefit, but always remember that I'm running the show!
You will find a list of things I am experienced in and enjoy doing to people here.

If you are male identified and bodied
Sex and sexual touching are almost definitely not going to be a part of any play that we do. I am not attracted to submissive men. No, really.. I'm not. No, you are highly unlikely to be the exception to that. There will be no face sitting, blowjobs, handjobs, "forcing" you to touch my genitals in any way whatsoever, worshipping my body in any sexual fashion, touching your body in a sexual fashion, etc. If you attempt to beg, cajole, guilt, or otherwise manipulate me into any of the above, including "accidental", or "not being able to control yourself", it will be the end of playing with me. Ever. Period. (NOTE: Being unable to control an erection or ejaculation is understandable and won't end play. It may give me ammo to TORMENT you, but I won't actually blame you for it!)
The only things I'm likely to do with your penis involve CBT (Yay!).
Being a TV, CD, or sissy does not magically identify you as female for me.

If you are a transman
Most of the above is applicable, except that if you are pre/non op and are interested in having your bits made happy, it's likely negotiable.

If you are female identified and bodied
Sexual play is not a guarantee, but it is extremely likely that it will be negotiable. I love getting it on with hot women and rumour has it that I'm fairly good at it. (BTW, don't assume you aren't hot based on someone else's standards!!)

If you are a transwoman
Same as above, but if you are pre/non op, you should know that anal play is not my thing, and the same rules for penis as for the guys apply.

Every Day Carry (EDC)

For the uninitiated, EDC, or, "every day carry", refers to the items you take with you every day.

Obviously, my pockets go along with me everywhere I'm wearing street clothes. The meds bag for SURE goes with me any time I'm going away from home, and if I'm not going to be in my own vehicle (which is well equipped as a BOV), I try to always remember to bring the satchel too.

Note: this is my minimum EDC. I almost always have additional blades and other items directly on my person as well.

Updated: 2015.08.20

Pockets
Right, front:

• S.O.G. Para-tool
• Zippo w/butane torch insert
• Stupid (flip) phone
• AA coin
• Keys
  

  • house
  • storage
  • vehicle
  • parents' house
  • parents' vehicle
  • partner's house
  • handcuff (standard police issue type)
  • collar key
  • P-38 can opener
  • emergency whistle
  • Smith's Pocket Pal X2
  • button compass
  • duct tape fob
  • emergency whistle
  • para cord
   
  
  
  
  
  
  Left, front:
  
• Swiss Army type pocketknife
• hair-ties
• lip conditioner (fancy, hippie Chapstick)  
  
•  Wallet
  • ID
  • cash
  • Credit/debit cards
  • Proof of disabilities
  • spare vehicle key
  • thumb drive

• lipstick 
• Zippo

Right, hip:

• Folding knife
• Pen
• Paper + waterproof notebook (will have photos of notebook up soon)
  
• Smart Phone (not pictured because that's what I was using to take photos)
  
  
  

Left, hip:

• another folding knife
• business cards
• misc things throughout the day

 Right, cargo:

• 4 strips jerkey
• 4 oz. Dried fruit & nuts
• 2 nutrition bars (meal replacement)

Left, cargo:

• pocket first aid kit
• electrolyte tabs
• nitrile gloves
• travel toothbrush & toothpaste tablets 
• folding water bottle 
•  aluminium foil
• ranger bands 
• disposable lighter
• nylon twine (mason line)

 Left, utility:

•  6000 mAh portable phone charger

 Carrying/wearing/attached to clothing or bag

• Filtering water bottle 
• Sunglasses
• COFFEE!! (in stainless steel travel mug)
• boot knives

Meds bag (fits into satchel)

Outside mesh pocket

• Mini flashlight
• Swiss Army knife
• 2 packets instant coffee
• 2 Phone charging cables
• AC + DC charging adaptors
• 2000 mAh portable phone charger
• hand salve
• coconut oil

Testing side

• blood glucose meter
• test strips
• lancet device
• extra lancet drums
• albuterol inhaler
• nasal sprays
• Epi-pen
• alcohol swabs
• phone stand
• pen
• headphones

Meds side

• 1 week's worth insulin & needles
• 1 week's worth daily + pain meds
• Additional meds (Airborne, gas reducer, antiemtic, electrolyte tabs, etc)
• 6000 mAh portable phone charger (moved to utility pocket of trousers)
• Hard candy

Satchel (like a purse, but more cool)

Main compartment

• Frio wallet (evaporative cooling pouch for insulin)
• SOG Para-tool (a bigger/better version of the one in my pocket)
• Tape measure
• Epi-pen
• Pit stick
• flashlight
• Comb
• Hair clip
• Clove cigarette case

Medium front compartment

• makeup
• toothbrush +toothpaste
• tampons
• TP
• Sharpies
• Pens
• comb knife
• jerky
• nutrition/meal replacement bar
• nuts & fruit

Small front compartment

• Charging cable
• headphones
• lighter
• lens wipes
• hair ties/scrunchie
• spare bluetooth hooks

My Limits

  Topping/Domming:

• Minors, animals, drunk/high people, dead people, or anyone else legally unable to give informed consent.

• Non-consensually involving others. (This includes breaching the confidentiality of others)

• Intentional actual injuries. ie: broken bones, sprains, head trauma, cuts requiring stitches (unless stitches are part of the scene), or anything else that should be seen in hospital.

• Exchange of bodily fluids w/out negotiation, health status information, and clear, prior consent.

• Scat, piss, vomit, or any other bodily waste play.

• Age play (including “teacher/mommy/daddy/aunt/incest/etc” type dynamics).

• DO NOT address me as "Miss". Honorifics preferred are Mistress, Ma'am, or M'Lady (in that order).
  

• Drama

• "Topping from the bottom"!

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Bottoming/Subbing:

As a free woman, I reserve the right to dictate my own limits when I choose to submit or bottom to someone. If you think this means that I am "in charge", then you may wish to move along.

• Minors, animals, drunk/high people, dead people, or anyone else legally unable to give informed consent.

• Non-consensually involving others. (This includes breaching the confidentiality of others)

• Cutting, bleaching, permanently colouring, perming or otherwise altering my hair in any way that would damage it and/or hinder its staying long and healthy.

• Anything that will scar or otherwise mark (long term) or disfigure my face.

• Anything that will harm/alter existing or planned body mods.

• Intentional actual injuries. ie: broken bones, sprains, head trauma, cuts requiring stitches, or anything else that should be seen in hospital.

• Tattoos, piercings, decorative cuttings, brandings etc without prior negotiation and consent.

• Exchange of bodily fluids w/out negotiation, health status information, and clear, prior consent.

• Scat, piss, vomit, or any other bodily waste play.

• Age play (including “teacher/mommy/daddy/aunt/incest/etc” type dynamics).  
• Body shaming or appearance based humiliation.

• Belts used on me. This includes actually using them on me or even threatening to in any form, even subtly or in jest.

• Switches (the kind cut from a tree/bush/etc - feel free to use a person who is a switch on me, consent permitting!) used on me, physically or as a threat.

• Pouring, dripping, splashing, or otherwise putting water (or other liquids) on me. This doesn't apply to in the shower/hot tub/pool, damp towels, ice, or ejaculate. If you're not sure, ask in advance for clarification

• I will not consume alcohol or drugs not prescribed to me and/or taken as prescribed/intended for any reason. This is non negotiable.

• I will not share my passwords. This goes for for email, social networking, journal sites, business, financial, or any other secure sites. This is not a level of privacy I will surrender, and it is almost universally a TOS violation.

• Micromanagement as a regular thing. Ie: accounting for every minute of the day, remaining in constant, 24/7 contact, checking in on every little thing, etc. Sometimes, for a specified period of time (hours, maybe days, not weeks+) is fine, but all or most of the time is a no-go.

•  Dietary restrictions, such as: Putting me on any kind of diet, forbidding certain foods/types of foods, requiring me to eat or drink specific things I dislike, or in any way using food or lack thereof as a reward or a punishment. The only exceptions to this are enforcing any dietary restrictions or changes specifically ordered by my doctor/health care team, such as making sure I am generally eating a healthy diet consisting of at least two meals per day (with an eventual goal of three meals per day) and keeping my overall blood sugar average at a healthy level. *Using food as reward or punishment creates an unhealthy relationship with food/eating and can lead to or exacerbate eating disorders.
  

• Isolation, such as forbidding contact with other people, groups, or types of people (like, "no talking to other doms/men/women/etc") without good cause. For a specified time period/scene/as a punishment is fine, as is for a valid reason, such as my own well being (Your insecurity/jealousy is not a valid reason!). Having it as a general rule is a deal-breaker.

• Similar to the previous, interfering with, forbidding, or attempting to sabotage pre-existing relationships, passions (ie:don't try to make me change my musical tastes or listening, quit/restrict coffee or cigars, stop making art, etc), or responsibilities, including, but not limited to: work (volunteer or otherwise), school, recovery, spiritual practices, medical appointments, family (including pets!) and social obligations.  (More on these last two)

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Additionally, I have some physical limitations which are not negotiable, even within a CNC dynamic. These are not limits which I impose, but rather, things which I am actually physically unable to do, or which will cause or worsen lasting damage, for various health/disability reasons.
There are work-arounds for pretty much all of these, mostly involving using the right furniture, supporting bonds/slings/etc, and adjusted positions, and none of these issues have prevented me from being able to engage in just about any type of play for nearly any length of time, with proper planning.

• I am unable to stand unassisted for more than five or so minutes, maximum - less on bad pain days.

Again, it's not just about not wanting to withstand the pain.. At a certain point, the nerve endings start clanging, legs stop working, and I will fall, which is unacceptable, as it is likely to cause additional, severe (potentially life threatening) injury.
If supported by a rack or something and able to lean, shift position slightly, use my arms to hang on to something and take some of my weight, etc, I am often able to stay upright for longer.

• I can no longer kneel without some kind of kneeling stool/bench (yes, they make those), and even then, only for short periods of time. 

• I cannot take significant impact on/over my right sacral joint.

I may be able to take more or less than you consider "significant" - The best thing to do is experiment and solicit my feedback.

• My right arm cannot be bound or held in a way which puts significant stress on the right shoulder for any more than a couple minutes.

• My knees and right hip cannot be stressed for more than a few minutes at a time. (hyperextended, overly stretched, etc)

Pansexual? Demisexual? Sapiosexual? What does that even mean?

For me, pansexual means that my sexual preferences are not limited to one, or even two genders.
In fact, much of the time, it isn't even about gender at all.

I am attracted to people I find attractive. The people I find attractive are not the sum of their parts and/or their gender or lack of gender.

Demisexual means I probably need to have a real connection with you on some kind of emotional and/or spiritual level in order to really be attracted to you enough to want to engage with you, sexually. 

Sapiosexual means I'm attracted to sexy brains! Stupidity, especially wilful stupidity is guaranteed to turn the hottest looking person into my personal anti-aphrodisiac. 

I'm attracted to hot people and activities.
Hot is subjective. If I think it's hot, then it is.

I like bits too.
I like tits. I like ass, especially nice, round, juicy, bouncy, shaking ass! (but not anus) I like pussy. I like cock. I like that spot just under the ear. I like necks, backs, thighs, backs of knees, the soft flesh of the inner elbow... I like bodies and responsive flesh in general.

Those bodies and bits don't need to match up to other people's gender perceptions for me to enjoy them or to enjoy the people of whom they are a part.

I like finding and exploiting erogenous zones. I especially love it when it turns out to be an erogenous zone the person never even knew they had! I love doing things with body bits. I like putting body parts into other body parts. I love doing things to make a partner lose control, gasp, squirm, say things or make sounds they never would have imagined, moan, scream, forget how to speak. I love having those things done to me.

Sometimes I'm attracted to a specific person(s) only at a particular time or in a certain context.

Sometimes it's the activity I'm hot for or attracted to.

My sexual orientation is whatever sharing of sexual and sensual pleasure I enjoy engaging in at any given moment.

For more specific information about playing with me, and how I tend to play with different genders, look here.